Brooklyn Nine-Nine: A Love Story
[This article originally appeared as a part of The Yale Herald Audio Issue on Soundcloud.]
Transcription:
[Rosa: Come on, sir, the math thing isn’t the problem. Night shift’s keeping you and Kevin apart. You two just need to bone.
Holt: What did you say?
Amy: Don’t say it again.
Rosa: I said you two need to bone.
Holt: How… dare you, Detective Diaz. I am your superior officer! [shouting] Bone! [sternly] What happens in my bedroom, Detective, is none of your business. [shouting] Bone?! [calmly] Don’t ever speak to me like that again.]
If you have ever spent at least ten minutes in a room with me, you know I love Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Created by Dan Goor and Mike Schur and starring Andy Samberg, Andre Braugher, and a host of other talented actors, the TV sitcom focuses on the fictional 99th police precinct in Brooklyn. Captain Raymond Holt, played by Braugher, leads a motley crew featuring Lieutenant Terry Jeffords, played by Terry Crews, and an ensemble of lovably weird detectives: goofy semi-protagonist Jake Peralta, played by Samberg, fiercely intelligent Amy Santiago, played by Melissa Fumero, the intimidating Rosa Diaz, played by Stephanie Beatriz, and loyal to a fault Charles Boyle, played by Joe Lo Truglio. There’s also the incorrigible office assistant Gina Linetti, played by Chelsea Peretti. A true workplace comedy, Brooklyn Nine-Nine gives each character room to shine as they get themselves into and then back out of various hijinks while somehow also solving crimes and taking down bad guys.
[Jake: Planning your strategy? No, I’m just making funny faces at him.
This mirrored glass is awesome.
It straight-up works.
Holt: An effective use of your limited time.
Jake: It is, actually.
That’s how I got him last time.
Let him stew for a little bit, got in his head, and he confessed.
Holt: You better be right.
Jake: I am.
Hey, make some funny faces while I’m in there.
I wanna see if I can tell.
Whitman: I didn’t do anything, joke.
Jake: That’s funny.
You said the exact same thing last time.
And how’d that work out for you? Let’s take a look.
Okay.
Here’s you at your trial.
You in prison.
Me meeting Regis Philbin.
That was fun.
You still in prison.
Me at Splash Mountain, just pepper these in here.
You in prison, you in prison, you in prison, you get it.
Whitman: You got the wrong guy.]
You may say to me, Emma, how dare you recommend a show about cops to me. And to that I would say, fair enough. In the twenty-first century it’s much harder to overlook the very real and serious problems within American policing, and so a light-hearted show about the NYPD may very well sound tone deaf. But hear me out. Brooklyn Nine-Nine does not pretend that the NYPD is a bastion of just and honest policing. In fact, the show regularly acknowledges the systemic corruption and dysfunction of the system. It’s not a defense of America’s police: it’s a show about one small band of good-hearted, eccentric cops trying to make the world a little bit better. Perhaps this feels aspirational, but the show has also specifically tackled questions of police brutality and racism with a deft enough hand to weave social commentary and moments of levity together into deeply worthwhile television.
[Jake: Hey, Sarge.
We felt really bad about Moo Moo, so we got you a new one.
She’s called New Moo.
Terry: I don’t want it.
Amy: Oh, the liaison application got you down?
Terry: I finished that.
Amy: I know.
There’s nothing sadder than finishing a nice, long juicy application.
It’s like, why can’t there be another essay or even a short answer?
Rosa: No one is relating to you right now. What’s wrong?
Terry:I got stopped by a cop last night.
Rosa: Stopped for what?
Terry: Stopped for walking.
Rosa: That makes zero sense unless Oh, crap.
I see what happened.
Terry: Yeah.
Jake: Sarge, that’s terrible.
AmyL That’s so messed up.
Scully: Oh, jeez.
I have no idea what’s going on.
Hitchcock: He got stopped for being black. Get woke, Scully.]
The foundation of the show and its largest strength is the relationships it builds between its characters. Both the romantic and platonic relationships are so warmly and empathetically rendered that I want to hang out with these characters all the time. Every single character feels like a uniquely charming real person, even though all of them are totally wild. Jake and Amy and Holt and Rosa and Gina and Terry and Charles and even Hitchcock and Scully now and then make up their own tight-knit group, demonstrating over and over again that the family that matters is the family you choose. And Brooklyn Nine-Nine gives us the opportunity to spend five seasons with one of the best families on television. I hope this show gets renewed forever, but I will cry the day it inevitably gets cancelled and no one will be able to console me. Long live the 99.
[Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober and fully dressed?
Jake: Kind, Sober and Fully Dressed. Good news everyone, we found the name of Santiago’s sex tape.
Amy: I’m sorry about tonight
Jake: I’m Sorry About Tonight! We found the title for Santiago’s follow-up sex tape.
Amy: It’s not your fault, I was terrible
Jake: It’s Not Your Fault, I Was Terrible is also one of your sex tapes.
Amy: It was slightly less unbearable with you. Don’t!
Jake: I love guns. I’m gonna make such a good dad.
Amy: Not even going to touch that.
Jake: The Amy Santiago Story.
Amy: I’m horrible at this. When can we stop?
Jake: I’m Horrible at this-.
Amy: I know, I know. Title of my sex tape.
Jake: Huh, well done. Title of my sex tape.
Amy: Just as long as we’re clear, I’m with someone and nothing is going to happen.
Jake: I’m with Someone, Nothing’s Going to Happen name of your sex tape.
Amy: He’s back!
Amy: Get my stuff. But, this better not bite me in the ass.
Jake: Better Not Bite Me in the Ass name of your sex tape, but seriously, thank you so much for your help.
Amy: I can’t reschedule. I have tickets to a TED Talk on power poses and getting what you want by using your body. Uh-oh. I hope it doesn’t get too sexual.
Jake: Uh-oh I Hope it Doesn’t Get Too Sexual title of your sex tape. But seriously, what is taking so long? Also, the title of your sex tape.
Gina: Eek, blast of cold air coming out of that box.
Jake: Name of Amy’s sex tape.
Amy: Hey, man, come on. Not cool.
Amy: Why doesn’t your mouth work?
Jake: Why Doesn’t Your Mouth Work title of our sex tape.
Amy: What?!
Jake: Your sex tape! What? No.
Amy: I just got it out of the vent to rub it in your faces
Jake: I Just Got It Out of the Vent to Rub It In Your Faces name of your sex tape. What?
Jake: But — But —
Judge Marinovich: One more “but,” and you will be in contempt.
Jake: “One more ‘but’ and you’re contempt,” name of your sex tape.
Amy: I’ve been looking, but I can’t find anything and I don’t know what to do.
Jake: “I can’t find anything and I don’t know what to do” — title of your sex tape.
Amy: I’m so confused, I don’t know what’s happening right now.
Jake: I’m so confused, I don’t know what’s happening right now”- title of your sex tape.
Amy:: Oh my God, I’m shaking, I’m definitely gonna cry — title of your sex tape.
Amy: Yeah… I hope it wasn’t a mistake.
Jake: I Hope it Wasn’t a Mistake title of your sex tape… *gasp* title of our sex tape!]
