hands.
The first thing I notice about people are their hands. I constantly find myself fixated on a set of typing fingers, the pale expanse of an upturned palm, some haphazardly applied nail polish.
And, yes, I know how this sounds. I know that most people are first drawn to the eyes as an act of familiarity and mutual vulnerability. It’s cute to lock eyes with someone for the first time, seeing them just as they’re seeing you. On the other hand, a stranger noticing me zoning in on their cuticles with precision focus would probably lead to them purchasing mace.
While I don’t mean to look like Quentin Tarantino seeing a female foot for the first time, I can understand how the unknown motive behind my hyper-fixated stare can be jarring. In reality, watching people’s hand movements is an abstraction of my interest in getting to know people.
Eyes are the window to the soul, but they’re only capable of giving away what we are subconsciously prepared to part with. Anything that’s revealed by your eyes has already been spoken aloud by your heart. Every flash of disappointment, flicker of admiration, and crinkling of crow’s feet belies an emotion that you are deeply aware of (whether or not you’d like to admit it). However, for every one emotion we are equipped to understand, there are at least 20 that we suppress so intensely that we refuse to be aware of their existence. Oddly enough, our hands give them all away.
Hand placement has its roots in the deepest recesses of our psyche. Facial expressions are easy to manipulate; however, our hands always provide a clear window into our mental turmoil. In fact, some psychologists call them our “emotional barometer.” Despite us failing to recognize it, they are thinly-disguised coping mechanisms, the tie between the limbic system in our brain and our physical body.
For example, think of how you might feel giving a slow, confident speech while your hands death-gripped the podium. Catch yourself when you pick at your nails or play aggressively with your rings while completing a p-set. Recall the last moment you said “No worries!” while your fingers tapped away on a surface with near lightspeed. Without knowing it, you could be idly running your thumb over the back of your partner’s hand while watching a movie, subconsciously memorizing the contours of their knuckles. Or, if you’re like me, maybe you cup your hands tenderly around a warm mug of coffee and try to ignore all the research that has proven people use heat to mimic the warmth of another human person.
The vulnerability that hands display is part of the reason why people are so attracted to them. Hands and forearms have become the buzzword for girls to feel quirky during sleepovers as they whisper hushed confessions of their love for calloused fingers and pronounced veins. As “random” as you might want to seem for getting weak-kneed at a confident grip or dexterous piano skills, it’s not that deep. Vulnerable movements are beautiful. Watching someone nervously twirl a pencil between their index and middle fingers and not immediately swooning is an anomaly. Noticing a friend hovering their fingers over their keyboard in contemplation while typing an email directly correlates with the desire to give them a forehead smooch. Glancing at a TA confidently thumbing through homework pages to find mine has led to dangerous thoughts that I will not apologize for. The dance of one’s hands can provide an almost shockingly clear statement about their current emotions and desires. In fact, hands are an absolute must for evaluating attractiveness.
I’m not going to lie, part of this assertion that hand movements are hot and important is to persuade people to look at and be attracted to my hands, because they truly have a mind of their own. I’ve been known to run them through my hair, dig them into the grooves of tables, test out a variety of grips on a variety of surfaces, and tap incessantly. They are distinctly hyperactive and distracting, and I wouldn’t have them any other way. My hands are a secret code with treasures untold for those who happen to decipher them. It’s ironic, because I’ve always been told that I’m not expressive enough. However, that really couldn’t be farther from the truth.
So, if you think someone’s being a bit of a closed book, look down.
But, not that far down.
