Top 5 College Essentials

5. A Kanken Bag! Anyone who wants to be seen on The Gram™ needs a bright, carefully pinned, overpriced Swedish backpack! It’s absolutely perfect for storing all your textbooks, lab notebooks, and candles!

4. Trendy School Supplies! I’m talking MUJI, Moleskine, and those sticky notes shaped like ice cream cones. And don’t forget the chalk to draw your transmutation circle!

3. A Hydroflask! Ideally in a color that compliments your new bag. This sleek metal bottle is perfect for keeping all the blood you need at a usable temperature! Make sure to put some vinyl stickers on too! Modern, sleek phrases like “Eat the Rich” or “I’m with Cthulu.”

2. A Cute Bike! You need something to get to class on time and in style! And how else are you going to make it all the way to Connecticut’s Forgotten Woods in time for the next blood moon?

1. An Unwilling Sacrifice! Now with all the supplies gathered, you just need one more thing! A human sacrifice! Just snag someone from TD; no one will go looking.