How Can I Love & Forgive My Parents
You don’t have to forgive your parents; however, forgive yourself first.
As a professional who heard and sometimes worked with individuals who struggled to love or forgive their parents, I tend to understand where they came from.
Studies show adults who suffer severe childhood abuse often have more problems in life until they seek treatment and do challenging work.
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day come with joy for some children and bad memories for others and their families.
How on earth would parents abuse their children?
In the US, no one thought parents would maltreat a child, and there was no law protecting children, and many child abuse happened. Yes, animals were protected by US law before children.
In a communal community, child abuse is rare. Why? Most new parents have family, friends, and a house of worship. It takes a village to raise a child, and when many people are involved in child rearing, danger is minimized.
Jessica (not her real name) asked, “How can I forgive my father? He was a monster, and my mom made things worse, protecting him and what she called “a family affair.”
Note: Too often, a family affair matters more when power, influence, and money hold members hostage.
Jessica’s story is nasty, and no one wants to be in her shoes.
Jessica needs to decide whether to forgive or not forgive. Why? Because she knows the pain, went through it, and is still struggling with the aftermath of her father’s abuse.
What can she do to escape this cycle of pain and betrayal? Join the conversation below.
Listen.
Many years ago, I was the victim of a theft. Yet, it wasn’t the material possessions that hurt the most but the betrayal of those I held dear. The deceitfulness of blood relatives and the pain were not just shocking but devastating.
It took me time to get over it.
One day, after getting boiled up when someone who knew what happened sang praises of the two criminals in my house, I asked the person to leave before I called the police.
After the person left, I was consumed with guilt. At that moment, I turned inward and realized that, while my actions may not have been as monstrous as those of the criminals — I needed to forgive myself for even engaging with two people who stole from me.
I made peace with that decision, focusing on the lessons it taught me. Now, I sleep like a baby and happy for the life lessons.
How can I love & forgive my parents
What am I saying to Jessica and others? Take your time and live well. Some of these troubled mothers and fathers are now having fun on social media and vacationing in New York, London, Lagos, and Sydney.
So, my suggestion to Jessica and others who may be struggling with forgiveness and self-compassion is this:
- Take your time.
- Live your life to the fullest, and most importantly,
- Start loving and forgiving yourself.
- It’s a journey and do yours.
Help yourself grow.
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©BY 06/2024.
