Life Lesson/Lifestyle Hacks/Health

The Biggest Waste Of Time Is In Any Argument.

This is because when ignorance screams, intelligence moves on.

Are you guilty of always wanting to prove a point? Photo by Afif Kusuma on Unsplash

Some people are so prone to always wanting to prove one point or the other that they become so argumentative in life. They may not know that they are this, unfortunately. Such people always want to be right or teach others what they think the other person does not know or gets wrong.

What Can Cause Argument?

There are lots of causes of argument, which can arise in any relationship, work colleagues, partners, siblings, friends, neighbours, in fact, an argument can arise in any relationship that we find ourselves in.

During the world lockdown because of CORONA VIRUS, relationships become sour mainly because escalating conflicts and tension can easily result in arguments. Little irritations can soon result in major conflicts in any relationship.

Where neither party is NOT willing to hear each others’ point of view can result in always arguing. Here it is difficult to focus on anything else because of an unresolved issue.

Is Argument Healthy?

Some psychologists believe it is healthy to let off the steam, instead of bottling up and making themselves unhappy. They are however referring to the normal occasional argument that doesn’t spiral out of control.

Anything out of the normal occasional one is unhealthy. Here are the reasons why:

• The adrenal gland releases the stress hormone, epinephrine and norepinephrine.
• Heart Rate Increases — we all have been there to experience increased heartbeat after arguing with someone.
• The muscles in your head, neck and shoulder become tense.
• The vocal cord can be damaged by shouting rather too much.
• Your blood pressure goes up as well.
• Your mental health is impaired if you are an argumentative person.
• An argument can affect your sleep pattern, resulting in less sleep. This can trigger higher inflammation markers, interleukin 6 and TNF Alpha. If these markers remain high over a period of time, it can result in health problems like Alzheimer, heart disease and inflammation.
• Leaky Gut Syndrome — An argumentative person is prone to suffer from a leaky gut ( a situation where bacteria and toxins leak into the bloodstream from the gut).
• An argument generally lessens the life span- this is the finding of Danish Researchers who followed 10, 000 people over a period of 11 years.
• Children brought up under argumentative parents grow up developing emotional and behavioural problems later in life. It was discovered that boys are more affected than girls, says the University Of York Study.

Ways To Constructive Discussion or Healthy Argument

There are ways out of any argument, and that route is having a constructive discussion with the person.

We must recognise that we cannot agree with everyone, so managing our differences is crucial here.

Be Respectful — There is always some gain in respecting the other person’s opinion. We are all entitled to our respective opinion, if you do not agree, that does not mean you should condemn it. Always maintain an open mind and be willing to compromise.

Work On Your Temper — Temperamental people tend to argue a lot. If your temper is getting in the way of having a good relationship with others, then it is time to work on your temper. Remember that we are in control of our lives, and we can always change what we don’t want in our lives.

Mind Your Language — The tone of your discussion matters a lot. Being defensive, critical or using sarcastic language is damn rude. Being hostile or aggressive will not even help matters.

“You can measure the happiness of a marriage by the number of scars that each partner carries on their tongues, earned from years of biting back angry words.” Elizabeth Gilbert

Look Into Your Heart — Do you have unresolved bitterness and or anger against the other person with whom you constantly argue? If you do, then there will always be an excuse NOT to agree with the person, and there will always be room for an argument. Try to resolve this first and the relationship will improve.

The Takeaways

• The occasional argument does serve a good purpose as it helps you to be forthright and say what is in your mind without being emotional. If you are emotional in saying what’s in your mind, then that is a destructive argument.
• “The silence is the worst part of any fight because it’s made up of all the things we wish we could say, if only we had the guts.” Pete Wentz, Gray
• “A wise woman knows when to stay silent. However, a wiser woman of faith knows that sometimes words can win the battle when all odds stand against her.” Shannon L. Alder
• Allow cooling-off period by giving each other space. You can take a walk, move away for a short period until you are calm to face each other again.

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