My Yoga, Meditation And Aikido Journey
Sharing the importance of their interconnected relationship in my life.
Making my way from a seated asana through to forward fold then into position for downward facing dog under the online guidance of Adriene Mishler (Yoga With Adriene) pain shot immediately from my neck and shoulder up my back. My inner voiced exasperatedly screaming out that I can’t even do this?
A couple months since stepping on the mats at the dojo and engaging seriously in my Aikido training at the point when I had a basic grasp of fundamentals. I was looking forward to the next evolution from my newly minted green belt to the more challenging brown belt levels eventually arriving at my Shodan or black belt all within my perfectly scheduled time frame. HA! Spoke the universe.
Pain and inability to raise my arm above the shoulder resulted in a month long break from the mat. Upon returning similar pain still existed. A follow up with my doctor then an ultrasound followed by a quick MRI confirming a posterior labral tear with a cyst plus some nerve denervation signals — essential some indication of pain coming from somewhere. Joints wear down and don’t really cause pain it’s what surrounds them from tissue, muscle to nerves.
An appointment with a specialist was scheduled and I resolved my self to a year of inactivity.
Yoga holds a place of respect in the lives of many martial arts practitioners with a level of popularity within various Aikido communities being significant. It is not uncommon to find Yoga Studio’s and Aikido Dojo’s sharing the same space.
Below you will find my journey how Yoga, Meditation and Aikido exist together within my life.
Beginning My Practice
My experience with Yoga began late in life as a means to improve flexibility and mobility prior to even considering exploring martial arts. While I was vaguely aware of what it was oddly being introduced to it through readings of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s endeavours I had yet to even try anything until in my late thirties or early forties.
My personal fitness consisted mostly of walking and lifting heavy dumbbells at home. You reach a certain age and your body starts to show the lack of care in a more balanced approach to living your life — flexibility and mobility become more important.
I couldn’t see myself adding another routine of do this movement this many times in similar routinized fashion as my current lifting regimen. A person can only do so many sets and reps before they began to question both their sanity alongside the very nature of the activity being engaged in. Thankfully YouTube offered up a world of endless possibility.
It’s not clear how, when or why I settled on Yoga With Adriene but, I suspect it was her easy going style and a number of beginner routines to choose from. Hitting the mat hard I over did it as with most things but, after recovery periods I always returned to doing a variety of her routines.
She was there as I transitioned from lifting heavy weights to body-weight exercises then as I began my Aikido journey. My practice while not exacting nor routine still existed in some form or another. I was a better student of Aikido because of it and Yogi because of Aikido. The harmony suits me.
Meditation
A few years ago my burgeoning meditation practice ended abruptly after an experience that, well, frankly disturbed me. After reading someone mention they asked questions before beginning their meditation with an answer almost always coming to them I decided to do the same.
Having recently been hurt by someone in my life with a past habit of totally cutting off anyone who did similar things I simply posed the question “What should I do”. Closing my eyes I began following my breath eventually tension slipped away as my mind began to empty. Then in my minds eye above me an orb of light appeared and either I thought or heard simply “love her”. I ended the meditation then and there was a profound sense of sad reservation.
Discombobulated would be an understatement as to how I felt. As an individual who prides himself on being somewhat rational yet, open to unknown possibilities this was way out of anything anticipated. I have yet to return to meditation and realize as I write this that perhaps I am ready to take that journey up again?
Aikido
Sitting in seiza, eyes closed my legs aching and my mind telling It had only been two months since actively doing any yoga why was I feeling such pain? Looking back this gives me a a good chuckle as rarely if ever did I attempt seiza within my Yoga practice prior to beginning Aikido.
Seiza is the most basic beginners position with the primary purpose not about enduring the pain but, clearing your mind and bringing your focus to the mat. Obvious similarly to yoga. In order not only to be effective but not injure your classmates an empty or clear mind is essential. We begin in seiza for this and to thank those we train with for allowing us to train with them.
Much like your first attempt at downward facing dog or any number of positions Aikido offers up an abundant amount of awkward body movements and embarrassing situations. People with a lot invested in their ego or who expect to be executing full on flips from day one often don’t show up for class two. Ego has little place within martial arts despite the bravado that populates the Internet, movies and television.
Relaxed posture and mobility is essential to good Aikido from what I can tell at my current understanding. Mobility by my definition being flexibility in motion. If you can find a video with a skilled teacher or student who isn’t wearing a Hakama over their Gi a practicing Yogi may be able to recognize the movement of body in one uniform interconnected movement despite speed or fanciful additions.
When I am truly in yoga flow my mind is empty while my body transitions between positions and Aikido flow feels similar though I never experienced Aikido flow as often it is something I can’t wait to return to.
In my experience both with Yoga and Aikido the more knowledgeable and skilled the practitioner or teachers are often the most humble and easy going they are. A good lesson to keep I keep trying to remind myself of.
Progress Through Nothingness, My Path Forward
Given current circumstances I am unsure when I can return to martial arts; however, I can still practice some basic movements just as I can do individual yoga poses.
While not as fulfilling as a regular practice in either perhaps this is where returning to meditation will guide me towards making peace with circumstances. No matter what even a small practice if only in spirit is still practice.
