Words My Mama Never Said

Nina Kensicki

When I think of him

I don’t think of whiskey

or the steady beat

of up-drink-down-pour.

All I think of is our heart beats

thumping along together

and wishing he’d stop asking me

if I wanted more.

When I think of him

I don’t think of beer

or the steady beat

of up-drink-down-pour

or the cans piled high

in the back-yard recycling.

I don’t think of slurred words

or him sloppy, falling to the floor.

When I think of him

I don’t think of scotch

or the steady beat

of up-drink down pour.

I think of you growing

inside me. And his laughter,

not the unfulfilled promises

or the lies he swore.

When I think of your daddy

I don’t think of the years

you’d be disappointed

and alone or the ways

he’d hurt your soul.

Now all that echoes in my ears

is up-drink-down-pour.