Minimalism Isn’t About Not Buying Things
I think David Fincher got me into minimalism. I watched Fight Club as a teenager and it had a profound effect on the way I looked at the world from then onward. At the time I thought Tyler Durden was the real mvp, not caring about things and just living life in utter chaos. The concept was so appealing that I ‘gave up’ on my ‘material needs’, got some old shirts from my grandparents house and wore them in school. Parents of other children actually complained to my mother saying that they can’t keep up financially with my clothing trends. Little did they know, one of the shirts I used was my grandmother’s, it had the buttons the other way around. I didn’t realise it was a female garment until one of the girls in my class pointed it out that her grandmother had the same shirt. What was my response? “Your grandmother must have a great taste in fashion.” Literally.
I watched the movie every weekend before going out to get into the zone, or more like to get into the mindset of a nihilist. I detached myself from material needs, not like I could have much anyway, my mother was raising us alone, me and my two brothers. I’m getting more and more grateful recently realising how much of a herculean task it must have been to work full time, finish university and try to control three teenager boys in the same time.
Little did I know what the difference was between nihilism, anarchism and minimalism. Gradually I grew out of watching the movie every week but the concept stayed with me. Years later, when I was working as a manager right after finishing university at a company that was basically trying to funnel international funds to finance their own agenda, I came across the book the movie was based on, written by Chuck Palahniuk. I started reading it but couldn’t really progress, it was written in a way that felt disorganised and it definitely didn’t feel like an easy read. I was slightly disappointed but didn’t care much about it. Couple of months later, on a lazy day at work, I thought I’ll give it another try. I got into it so much I read it in a day. At work. Literally gobbled up the pages and I was completely immersed in it. I came to the conclusion that the writing style was a conscious effort to depict the anarchism laid out in the book. It all made sense.
Although I really enjoyed the book, what got me into minimalism is the combination of experiences and influences. I was drawn to simplistic ideas and clear concepts, features that didn’t complicate life even more. Later, I particularly liked the soothing images of minimal interior design examples. Book covers with not much on them intrigued me. Clean shapes caught my eyes in visual art pieces.
But as it most usually is the case, life got the better of me. I get swept away by the middle class goals of the everyday man of non-privilege. Get a mortgage, Get a steady job. Get a car. Build a family. Be what your environment and society wants you to be.
So I did just that. I moved to a different country. I started working at a job I hated but provided a decent living. I bought a used car. I went on holidays, once a year. I bought things. From the onlooker’s point of view, my life was on track. Internally, though, I was doubting myself. I was growing more and more detached with my life, I became frustrated, there were nights when I was just laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, in numb ecstasy. I was on the wrong track but I got into it so deep I couldn’t see a way out without hurting people. People depended on me and the way I lived my life. I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Long story short, I decided to get a divorce, even though I have a son, who I love to bits. Not once I broke down at work crying when I thought about losing him. Children are the best thing that can happen to a person and whoever mistreat their children should go to jail. Period.
After the divorce I found myself in a difficult and delicate emotional and social state. I was struggling in a lot of areas in my life and was getting even more detached from my environment. I was torn out of the materialistic world that surrounded me and now felt I had to build everything up from scratch again. I had to make a lot of sacrifices, all this whilst I haven’t had much to spare anyway. With no family and only a few friends around, my mood was ever so low.
But this time was also a period of self-reflection. I ended my marriage because I felt that not only me and my ex-partner grew apart, but also because I felt that I lost myself. I look back at my years spent as an adult and for most part, I don’t see myself, just a person who was always trying to meet the expectations. For the first time since I became an adult, after the divorce, I was alone. It felt strange but also let me think things through.
What does it all have to do with minimalism? At this point in my life, I haven’t owned a lot but I felt I wanted more. I wanted to own a property again (or at least have a 35 year long mortgage under my name), I wanted to upgrade my car (14 y/o Toyota) and I just wanted to be in what I perceived a better position in life. I still felt that owning things was the pinnacle of existence. Not owning things, therefore, was the reason why I felt lost. By replacing all the things I lost I could get back to where I was, probably even end up in a better place. Right?
Self-reflection gave me a lot of insights about myself. I still think that not lying to yourself is the hardest thing to do. We can always convince ourselves that what we do is right, or even if it isn’t, that we will start doing the right thing soon enough. I felt like I wanted to own things and it gave me a purpose.
But after months of thinking, I reconnected with myself from earlier who enjoyed less. Less furniture, less clutter, less hassle. I started to think that minimalism is not about buying less things. It’s about letting go of the idea of owning things. It’s about looking for answers inside as opposed to outside. To find fulfilment in things we do and not in things we own.
True achievements require nothing but willpower. We admire people who can create magnificent art. We marvel at people who push their bodies to the limits. We are amazed by the results of people of determination. The greatest achievements in life are the ones that don’t require external help. You might need gear and support to ascend the highest mountains, but mountaineers with no legs did it too. People climbed the highest peaks with no oxygen tanks. Polynesian wayfinders can navigate the ocean by the feel of wind on their cheeks.
Minimalism, is not only the lack of need for physical objects, but also the increased curiosity to find what you can achieve. How far you can push yourself. To completely diminish the need to purchase things, we have to replace it with meaningful goals. Humans are not meant to be idle creatures. We need milestones to work towards to, not ownership over physical commodities, but meaningful personal achievements.
I believe what minimalism is really about is to be happy with yourself. Once you come to terms with your situation (assuming one where you’re not, for example, being abused, but just unhappy with), whatever situation it might be, you’ll find peace and your mind settles down. You don’t need the approval of other people. Buying more and more expensive items might get you the approval of other people, for a short period of time, but eventually every new object will become old.
Things you can’t change you shouldn’t be worry about. If you want to embrace a minimalist lifestyle, redirect your attention from the outside world to the one inside. Enhance your mind and body if you must. Find challenges in your everyday life. Replace expensive trips to exotic locations with the discovery of your immediate surroundings. Scale down your needs from unreachable to manageble.
Minimalism is not about not buying things; it’s about detaching yourself from the need of ownership. It’s not about having a certain number of things or less. The aim is not to belong to our belongings. Once you realise this you are all set.
