Vincent,

This is your last and final warning.

The next time I have to write this email you’re hanging up your Coco’s Arcade-a-Rama Fun Concierge Gamecard and lanyard and making sandwiches as a Sandwich Champion for the rest of the summer.

Got a call from the parents of a 7 year old. Who told me this crazy story about a "Coco’s Ring"? They’re claiming you are the "Ring Lord"? That you’ve been laundering tickets through a bunch of kids living in the Woodland Hills neighborhood. You know this place? I guess it’s down Mingo.

I, ahh, hesitate to take it seriously but there’s been a spike in high ticket redemptions at Coco’s Emporia-a-Rama Ticket Exchange. So I can’t help but wonder if maybe what they’re saying is true.

I’ll tell you this. The next kid who comes in and buys a 500,000 ticket, top shelf Collector Edition, LOCO at Coco’s Hologram Floaty is gonna have to field a thousand questions from me. And if that kid even murmurs your name this won’t just be another write up.

I suggest if all this is even remotely true, you communicate down the ranks of your “Coco’s Ring” and freaking cool it with the Mafia stuff!

But even if it’s not true. Your last two violations follow a similar pattern:

1) Your first violation you were supposedly holding up customers at the exits claiming leftover tokens weren’t allowed to leave or else an alarm would go off and they’d be banned from Coco’s for theft of property.

We later caught you selling those tokens on the floor of Coco’s Gamatoria-a-Rama for half the discount price that tokens come with our Coco’s Relaxing Mommas Night Out 4 Sando Super Special. (By far our best and cheapest token option).

2) When you and Anne were having your dispute about who was better at Off Road Racer 4, and you lost 4 straight of the 7 round tournament to her, you stormed out and never returned to work (which is technically why you were written up).

Oddly, the next day, when Anne came in to work, her shift cup had been dipped in corn dog batter (she hates corn dogs) and her favorite drink— Cherry Popsicle Squeeze —fountain line had been cut (like actually cut with wire cutters). And although we have no evidence, we suspect you did it.

Again this is your final warning before you’ll be Coco’s Sando-a-Rama Sandwich Champion instead of a Coco’s Gamatoria-a-Rama Fun Concierge.

Let's talk in my office after your shift tomorrow.

Joe

• JOE MABLES •
• Upper Senior Management, Manager •
• Coco’s Arcadia-a-Rama •
• S Mingo Ave •
• Arcadia, AZ •
• Kids Go LOCO at Coco’s •