Bookish Cat Goes to the Movies
Quotes and Commentary: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
If you’re a Scottish Lord, then I am Mickey Mouse
Bookish Cat Goes to the Movies takes your favorite bookseller from Fletcher & Co. — and drags me to the movies. Here are things I say out loud, fun facts, and other running commentary. Just like in real life, and it’s why I can’t go nice places.
Confession: Indiana Jones is one of my favorite things. Since the latest (and last…so far) Indy flick dropped, I’ve been rewatching the series.
The Last Crusade is my favorite, and has a special place in my heart. My grandpa gave me two great loves: the Perry Mason books he’d read to me (much to my grandma’s dismay) and Indiana Jones. It was one of the first movies I ever watched. Made me fall in love with movies.
I figured this would be a good way to kick off a recurring feature around here. I’ve done movie reviews before, but I wanted to do something different — and give y’all more of me than you get with my normal writing, and with Fletcher & Co.
This is as close as it gets to showing up at my house for movie night. My running commentary, fun facts, and my take on the movie as the credits roll — written in real time.
For maximum experience — settle into the Eames chair and let’s watch it together.
If you don’t like fun — I’ll still be summing this up in my regular reviews too.
You brought the popcorn this time…right?
What’s it about:
Everyone’s favorite 1930s archaeologist (except some of those weirdos in academia, I guess) sets out on his greatest adventure yet: the quest for the Holy Grail. How? Well, his dad, a medieval literature professor disappeared while searching for it himself. Indy arrives in Venice, where he enlists the help of a beautiful Austrian academic. But the Jones boys aren’t the only ones seeking the Grail: spoiler alert — It’s not King Arthur. And an ancient quest becomes a modern (at least for the 30s) legend.
Stars:
Harrison Ford: (Henry, Jr — I mean, Indiana Jones)
Sean Connery: Edinburg Jones — I mean, Henry, Sr.
Denholm Elliot: Who got lost once in his own museum
Allison Doody as Indy’s sidekick-cum-love interest, Elsa
John Rhys Davies: back again as Egyptian excavationist, Sallah.
Julian Glover as Indy’s mysterious benefactor for this trip, Walter Donovan
River Phoenix: I can’t even make a joke. The guy was brilliant. He plays a young Indy.
Behind the Camera
Directed by Steven “E.T.” Spielberg
Screenplay by the amazing Jeffrey Boam (1983’s The Dead Zone, The Lost Boys)
Story by George “Midochlorians” Lucas and Menno Meyjes
Douglas “BAFTAs Baby” Slocombe on camera
And, of course, the man, the myth, the pianist, John Williams’ score.
Oh wow, with the Wild West whistling and tracking shot. Very nice. Very ominous.
Funny story, while we watch the butt shots for the horses. Lucas actually wanted this to be a haunted mansion film. Diane Thomas (Romancing the Stone) actually wrote a script for that.
Oh man, I forgot about the classic, “Herman’s horsesick!” Underrated gem. Right up there with the Wilhelm Scream.
I forget this guy’s character name, but he makes for a good Dark Indy, huh?
Oh yeah. Thanks captions. They call him — no shit — Fedora. Ok, Mr. Hat.
Wow slow down with your little Tesla Model Z Forderino Burrito Supreme that can’t even outrun something with 1 horsepower. A literal horse.
Sean Connery is actually to blame for this whole prelude. It was his idea to introduce young Indy this way. Related — Everything that happens to Indy is something that happened to the creators.
Yeah, Spielberg layered this father/son, creator/creation product pretty deep.
The scar Indy gets from the whip is the in-character backstory for the scar Ford has, from a car accident when he was young.
The dog at the Jones house is a reference to Indy being named after Lucas’ dog — an Alaskan malamute, just like the one here.
And Spielberg came up with the idea to make Indy a Boy Scout — because he was one, too.
The train here is one too: producer Frank Marshall used the same name on the train — Doctor Fantasy — as his stage name for performing magic tricks.
SNAKES…WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE SNAKES
Yeah, here’s the whip scene I’m talking about. With the MGM lion, probably.
I’ll let you make your own Magic Caboose joke.
You know, a missed opportunity for the Jones franchise would’ve been Indy running away from home, where Fedora trains him in the high art of grave robbery.
Love how the Sheriff is Dollar Tree Wyatt Earp. Seriously, wardrobe have a day off? Oh Jesus, even with the hat tip. M’cowboy.
Beautiful transition into this scene. Young to old, sunny and hot to cold and damp.
This is one of those reasons I feel they missed the opportunity. This guy isn’t actually Fedora/Garth (yeah I googled him. Mr. Hat has a real name), he’s called Panama Hat in the script. Mr Hat, Sr. if you will. In Indy lore, he’s the guy who hired Garth to begin with.
Can we talk about how much of an absolute master Denholm Eliot was? The guy who plays Marcus. He was appointed Commander of the British Empire (CME) in 1988. So no, it wasn’t for this role. Ironically.
This guy walks up to Indy all ‘the names Donovan. Walter Donovan. I like my martinis like I like my artifacts. Shaken, not stirred.’ He should’ve listened to Sean the Bond Connery.
A nice quiet moment for exposition but:
The chalice that caught the blood of Lil John — oh yeah, Jesus.
The bedtime story Donovan tucks Indy in with, while it isn’t actually historical, it is loosely based on the Knights Templar, who supposedly found some mysterious artifact after occupying the Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem during the Crusades.
Spoiler for an older flick — That’s also where the emblem for the “Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword,” comes from. They’re the successors of the Templars (in Indyverse), and their sigil is a Byzantine cross in the same Red Cross design of the Templars. Nice touch.
This is a beautiful use of camerawork, writing, and music all working together. The scene where Donovan tells Indy not to trust anyone is foreshadowing in retrospect — but it’s carefully hidden in that scene. Just like it would be to Indy.
Love the subversion of expectation in this dialogue too. “How will we know this Dr. Schneider when we see him?” We get the same feeling Indy and Marcus get. That this is going to be someone more like Henry Sr. than Elsa.
Oh snap! I forgot about this scene. Remember what I said about the Byzantine Cross? “These were brought back as spoils of war from Byzantium.”
Love the callback here too to Indy saying “X never, ever marks the spot.” This is one of the reasons the script works so well. It’s internally consistent, and the “coincidences,” give it a little bit of magic.
The librarian stamp scene — that’s one of Connery’s ideas. He references the Marx Bros later, and the librarian looking like an old Groucho isn’t a coincidence.
Indy can’t go nice places either. Just smashing a hole in the floor of the library like it’s a normal Thursday. This professor really said, ‘Fuck this floor.’
The catacombs scene freaked me out so bad when I was a kid. It’s aged really well too. Only heebies, no jeebies as a grownup.
This professor really pulled a Mario and came out through the drainpipe.
The look Allison Doody gives when she’s getting shot at is the same look my mom would give me when I was bothering her while she was driving.
This is something I love about the Indy movies. Utterly spectacular practical effects. You don’t see that in action movies today — except John Wick.
Another missed opportunity — Sallah is an underrated hero in his own right. They missed a chance to go another round with Rhys-Davies.
Love that the scene with Elsa is something of a callback to Temple of Doom, with the room door closing and conflict.
Aaaaaaand big smoochy time
The rule of comedy is the rule of 3. Third statement of “Ah, Venice.”
I really have to wonder how much input Sean Connery gave for the Scottish lord scene. I’d have paid good money to be backstage.
Nazis, I hate these guys. Me too, Indy. Me too.
He’s going to catch a sniffle out all day in the rain like that.
JUNIOR!
I love how Connery plays Henry, Sr. He’s Indy, but one that stayed in his classroom. Preoccupied, a little self-absorbed, big history nerd.
Oh, the thing about fathers/sons? Here’s a little piece of that. They both have an irrational fear of a critter. Rats for Henry, Sr., snakes for Indy.
Connery was an underrated comedic actor. His timing and his tone in this scene is perfect.
Trailer moment here too — “don’t call me Junior!” with the grumpy Harrison Ford finger point of doom.
Started at the Lost Ark and now we’re here in Wolfenstein 3D. Dr. Worldwide.
The transition here is one of my favorites in film history.
Indy describes Marcus as Indy meets James Bond and we cut to —
Does anyone here speak English? Or even Ancient Greek?
And the real hero of the movie comes in: Sallah.
And we have Generic Nazi Sunglasses Guy getting punched in the face with the Morning Edition — Just finished reading it myself
Things you can say during an Indiana Jones movie and sex. QUICK IN HERE, FIND THE BACK DOOR, FIND THE BACK DOOR
This exchange with Elsa is a callback to Raiders of the Lost Ark. The conversation with Belloq and Indy. “I’d have done anything to get it. You would’ve done the same,” with Belloq’s, “We’re not so different, you and I.”
Germany has declared war on the Jones boys!
This (the fireplace scene) as a whole is an underrated scene. Creative use of set transitions, practical effects, comedy, action, and dare I say — brief romance?
I really have the urge to rewatch the Connery Bond movies but imagining him in character as Henry, Sr.
What about the boat?! We’re not going on the boat?!
Every good action movie needs a good motorcycle chase scene. It doesn’t one up the boat chase scene, but still, killer choreography and callback to the knightly theme with Indy jousting. It’ll also have an unconscious layer later during the “You’re strangely dressed…for a knight,” scene.
Pay attention writers — this is how you wind down from an action scene and keep the plot moving. Here, Henry, Sr. gives a little exposition for later, but their interaction is deeply character driven. Ford and Connery play this scene wonderfully. They alternate in tone between colleagues and father/son, up to Henry, Sr. slapping Indy for blasphemy.
“The search for the Grail is not archaeology. It’s a race against evil! If it’s captured by the Nazis, the armies of darkness will march all over the face of the earth.”
Ah, a callback to the modern era of book burning. Excuse me. Book banning. My mistake.
In 1989 burning books was an incredibly shocking scene. Today? It feels like what Henry Sr says. “My boy, we’re pilgrims in an unholy land.”
Doody and Ford also handle the deep sexual tension subtext here wonderfully.
And we have Indy, quite literally, running into Hitler to get his autograph.
Why? What are you hiding? What does the diary tell you that it doesn’t tell us?
It tells me that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them!
That exchange has aged well.
Connery really steals the next couple of scenes.
These people are trying to kill us!
I KNOW, Dad!
Well…it’s a new experience for me.
Marcus would agree with me!
Why does nobody ever listen to Marcus? The guy who gets lost in his own museum is the voice of actual reason.
Why is Last Crusade my favorite? Moments like this. The car blowing up from a tank shot, just after Indy says they’re well out of range, punctuated with the sad, flaming tire.
It’s the perfect balance of action, adventure, comedy, and romance for the perfect pulp feel. Raiders is brilliant as a movie, and Temple of Doom tries for that balance a little too hard.
Crystal Skull?
More like Crystal Balls. It tried too hard to get the 50s B-movie feel, and deviated too far from what actually worked. The concept is an homage to 30s pulp serials, and three prior movies were built on that. Decent concept. Miserable execution.
Oh, this is good writing too. Indy hasn’t ridden a horse before this movie.
The prologue of the movie shows why he’s good at it in this scene.
Black Beauty with the Matrix dodge! I want to see that horse take on the Nazis.
I love how the fight scenes are choreographed in the series too. It really shows what a brilliant physical actor Ford is too. They’re choreographed in a very real way. Not the over-perfect/wuxia style of the post-John Woo-Matrix era. And a great homage to the fight styles in early movies — where in many cases, the punches weren’t pulled.
You call this archaeology?
Is one of the most underrated lines in film history, and I’ll die on that hill.
See? Told you Sallah is the real hero of this movie. He swoops in and saves Indiana Dad.
Underrated scene here too on the cliff. Connery’s and Ford’s acting here is wonderful. As is Elliot’s confusion.
Beautiful Dark Night of the Soul moment, and perfect rally moment:
Why are you sitting there resting when we’re so near the end?!
We’re in the home stretch now, party people. Let’s go raid some tombs!
Fun fact: if you weren’t aware. The exterior of the temple/trap factory in the Canyon of the Crescent Moon is part set and part real place: Petra, Jordan. Unfortunate name for a very beautiful place.
Rock, Jordan.
The choppy scene also freaked me out as a kid. I had at least two bad dreams about that.
This week.
The puzzles here are done wonderfully. Has a strong tonal shift to solemn and somber.
And when we see the knight, we see his symbol — plot twist: it’s not a Byzantine cross. Not exactly.
It’s a Grail, superimposed on a Templar Cross, to resemble the Byzantine cross.
Elsa taking the opportunity to betray Donovan here is also beautiful. Doody acting in the background and in mirroring the acting in her eyes she’s done is excellent, understated work.
Remember for this scene: this is 1989. This isn’t CGI.
The Grail here is a beautiful piece of prop work too. Understated, but still visually unique.
“You have chosen wisely.”
Another reason why the magic of the Jones boys works so well is because the artifacts have rules. They have boundaries. And they’re handled in a way that’s mysterious and incomprehensible. Notes for writers — the audience doesn’t need to know why the Grail can’t go past the Great Seal.
And again, Sallah is the real hero of the movie. Drop your guns! Please.
Why exactly do they rig these places to self-destruct? Boulders. A whole earthquake. The ancient world was overengineered, I’ll tell you that much.
Indiana…
Another beautiful moment made even better with John Williams.
And repeating back to back. Henry saves Junior, and he saves him back.
What did you find, Dad?
Me? Illumination.
The dog?!
And the iconic sunset ride.
This is one of the most magnificent pieces of movie history. There’s a special magic in the adventures of the Jones boys.
Watching movies like this reminds me why we focus too much on CGI/SFX. The real magic here happens in dialogue and the growth of the characters. Not the set pieces or the boat explosion or Donovan turning into the Crypt Keeper.
We keep talking about indies bringing practical effects back — and honestly they should. CGI has the same problem as AI art. It feels artificial. It’s too smooth. And it can do things that are too far beyond what’s real.
Here? We can imagine ourselves riding beside Indy into the sunset.
That’s the magic of The Last Crusade.
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