15 Movies That Make You Feel Good About Staying In
Movies that prove that leaving home can often be a terrible decision.
Some people snorkel, scuba, rock climb, hike, bike, do World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (WWOOFing), and other things that require time and disposable income.
Some of us like to stay inside, where it’s safe and warm. And, frankly, we don’t like being told we should feel bad about it.
Well, if you’re a movie lover who doesn’t have the luxury of claiming traveling as a hobby or thinks camping sounds like a nightmare (I agree), here are some movies that have made me (and hopefully you) feel better about not being “outdoorsy.”
127 Hours (2010)
Very experienced mountain climber slips down a ravine, which causes a giant boulder to land on his arm. Using a small, dull pocketknife, he has to saw through flesh and bone to survive. Now ask yourself: is hiking worth it when that’s bound to happen eventually?
Watch It With: A bunch of bottled water.
Don’t Watch It With: James Franco. He thought his performance was unmatched and would definitely point out points of excellence.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
The Reef (2010)
A relaxing day on a yacht turns into four people being eaten alive by great white sharks as their loved ones watch in horror. Yeah, scuba diving and snorkeling sound super fun…
Watch It With: A footrest to kick back and relax. You’re on dry land. Be thankful.
Don’t Watch It With: An Australian, because you’ll be tempted to say, “As if I needed another reason not to visit your country.”
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 79%
Everest (2015)
Everest is so treacherous towards its peak that it’s not worth the risk of trying to get all those dead bodies back down, so you have to scoot by them to make it to the top. And that’s not to mention disaster striking, like in this movie. The end benefit of hiking Everest? Being able to say you did it. That’s IT.
Watch It With: A space heater.
Don’t Watch It With: Someone who enjoys hiking. At best, their excursions will seem like cakewalks. At worst, they’ll say they’d still be down to hike Everest once the end credits roll.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 73%
Children of the Corn (1984)
Sickles and cornfields are best friends to farmers, as well as psychopathic children who slaughter every adult in their town and create a chaotic society where human sacrifice just comes with the territory. People who brag about how they like WWOOFing might deserve this, but you don’t. Stay away.
Watch It With: A glass of scotch, a cigar, and other adult things.
Don’t Watch It With: Anyone under the age of 18, because looking at them will freak you out more so than usual.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 38% (Bit harsh)
RV (2006)
A terrible movie, but also an important reminder that RVing is more often than not met with very obnoxious people who really want you to immerse yourself in their community despite how much no one wants that.
Watch It With: Your door locked and your windows closed, creating a nice and isolated environment.
Don’t Watch It With: That next door neighbor you’re only hanging out with because you’d feel guilty if you didn’t.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 23% (Bit generous)
Willow Creek (2014)
It could be a bit of spooky fun to go out and see if you can find evidence of the real Bigfoot. That is, until the mythical beast is real and reminds you that anything can be in the woods, particularly things that want to kill you in your sleep.
Watch It With: Your pet, an example of a furry friend that doesn’t want to maul you in your sleep.
Don’t Watch It With: Your significant other. You don’t want to be reminded that you can’t get through everything together.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 86%
Blair Witch Project (1999)
Again, anything can be hiding and waiting in the woods, including an immortal sorceress that flips the script on the term “witch hunt.”
Watch It With: Someone who was in college in the 1990s. They’ll be filled with nostalgia.
Don’t Watch It With: An up and coming documentary filmmaker. You don’t want them getting any ideas.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 86%
In the Wild (2007)
What starts out as an enormously encouraging movie that’s anti-materialism and very pro-minimalism/getting in touch with nature turns into a sorrowful tale of someone freezing to death…alone. If you like hiking alone, you’ll absolutely for sure 100% will die alone…frozen.
Watch It With: A steaming cup of cocoa with miniature marshmallows.
Don’t Watch It With: A big Eddie Vedder fan. The soundtrack is great, but they need to take it easy.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 82%
Anaconda (1997)
Remember this flick? It’s a very forgettable “adventure horror” about enormous anacondas that live in places modernized humans do not belong in.
Watch It With: Your snakeskin boots on.
Don’t Watch It With: Someone with a pet snake, who shouldn’t really be trusted to begin with.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 38%
The Grizzly Man (2005)
Easily one of my favorite documentaries. It’s about a guy who goes up to grizzly bears and slaps them on the snout when they get a bit too aggressive. Spoiler: he and his girlfriend are viciously (and actually, in real life) mauled at the end.
Watch It With: An aspiring film editor, because they could definitely learn a thing or two.
Don’t Watch It With: An animal lover. They’ll call what he did brave and important (it was stupid and not worth it.)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 92% (Should be 100%)
Deliverance (1972)
Backwoods folks can be warm and welcoming, and they can also hold you at gunpoint and make you squeal like a piggy.
Watch It With: Someone who can play the banjo.
Don’t Watch It With: Someone who goes on long canoeing or kayaking excursions. This movie will absolutely ruin their passion.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93%
The Edge (1997)
Getting lost in the woods with someone else can cause the two of you to lash out at each other, especially when you add the stress of being chased by a vicious grizzly.
Watch It With: The idea that you’ll watch 30 Rock immediately afterwards, because it’s a fantastic juxtaposition of Alec Baldwin performances.
Don’t Watch It With: A best friend. The movie is a reminder that it’s possible for the two of you to hate each other under the right circumstances.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 60%
Cast Away (2000)
You can’t even get on a plane without risking a crash, where you’ll either die or get washed ashore on an island. Choose: either eternal darkness, or talking to a volleyball and uprooting a rotted tooth with a rock and twig. There is no middle ground.
Watch It With: The sports ball you talk to most often.
Don’t Watch It With: The neighborhood FedEx delivery guy you always invite inside for a quickie when you’re home alone. He can’t take a 2 hour and 23 minute break.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 90%
Backcountry (2014)
Apparently, even when you’re really familiar with the specific woods you’re camping in, it’s still possible to get lost. The result? You almost break up with your girlfriend, watching your boyfriend get eaten, and experience the rare balance of heart-stopping terror and the pain of a broken leg.
Watch It With: Your significant other if your relationship is strong, because the two characters are at each other’s throats almost immediately.
Don’t Watch It With: Your significant other if your relationship is faltering, because the two characters are at each other’s throats almost immediately.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 88%
A River Runs Through It (1992)
This beautifully shot and touching little outdoorsy flick is super, super boring unless Brad Pitt’s sexiness is enough to drag you through the two hours and four minutes, which feel like four hours and two minutes.
Watch It With: Someone who loves fishing so you can point out how utterly boring it is.
Don’t Watch It With: Someone who’s obsessed with 90s Brad Pitt, because they’ll actually enjoy the movie but for the wrong reasons.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 83%
If you enjoyed, follow me on here and/or Twitter, and I’ll follow back if you don’t look like a bot.
