Are You Indecisive?
Dan and I can be painfully indecisive. There are nights when the fridge is bare and we haven’t planned something for dinner, and unless one of us is craving something, we’ll go back and forth for 5, 10, even 20 minutes(!) about what to eat for dinner. We’re not picky eaters. We have our easy, quick, go-to meals. So it’s not a matter of coming up with something that we both want to eat. It’s the decision.
And, then, when one of us does make a decision, the other person always happily goes along with it. We just both want the other one to make the decision. Sound familiar to any of you? If we’re out to dinner with friends, and I can’t pick what to order, sometimes, I’ll just say, “I’ll have what she’s having.” Or on an unexpected free weekend, I might say, “Let’s do whatever you want to do today.” And I’m happy with that!
But, I’ve wondered: Is indecisiveness bad? And, if so, why is it bad? As a particularly indecisive person, I’ve thought about this a lot. Other than “wasting” a few minutes here or there, what is wrong with being undecided about something?
Recently, I came up with a reason that seems to fit. Being undecided about the seemingly small decisions — what to have for dinner, what drink to order at the bar, taking the train versus a cab — isn’t bad. It can be irritating — yes, but it’s not bad. But those smaller decisions can lead to indecisiveness with larger, life-changing choices like college or a job or buying a house.
If you’re used to not making decisions about the small things in your life, it can lead to indecisiveness with the important things. Looking back at specific points in my life, I can pick out times when the plans for my future were being made largely by other people. That seems kind of dramatic (and I’m internally rolling my eyes at myself), but it’s true. My indecisiveness about small daily decisions lead to indecisiveness about the more meaning, personal ones. And that, I think, is bad.
Not to say that I have dinner planned for tonight or tomorrow or, in fact, any night, but knowing that it’s empowering to effectively make decisions for myself has allowed me to consciously work on my decision-making skills. (Like all things, it takes practice.)
Do you agree? Are you indecisive? I’d love to hear…
(Image via Wit & Delight.)
