It’s 5:30am and I’m half awake to feed the baby. And by half awake, I mean hardly. After over 2 months of complete sleep deprivation, this part of the morning has actually gotten a little better, still not easy, but better. My body must be used to running on caffeine and miracle second winds.

The baby eats and, of course, starts drifting off to sleep by the time my school age children, 11 and 9, need to wake up and get ready. And by wake up, I mean everyone BUT my school age children are woken up by their alarm clocks, including our three, yes three, crazy dogs. And herrrrre we go!!!!

As you can imagine the morning is filled with noise, messes, clutter, fighting, forgetfulness, oh man, you name it. I’ll spare most of the gory details since those of you who are parents know all too well. So much can happen in the hour and a half they have to get ready. Or nothing happens, and no, I don’t mean that in a good way. This morning, as it was PAST time to leave for school, my oldest daughter realized she forgot most of her morning responsibilities because she “was talking while eating.” Wow. I don’t know whether I should be mad or worried. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣 As usual, my infant is the only one who I can manage to get ready ON TIME. We end up having our regular “come to Jesus” meeting in the car on the way to school, and they basically have to get out at a rolling stop once we get there because we are late, again.

Whew. Made it. Now I can focus on the baby’s routine and getting all my other shit done before getting them in the afternoon. Before that, let me try to recall if I brushed my teeth yet… I know I didn’t get to brush my hair or change clothes yet, but surely I brushed my teeth. Did I? 🤔 Just as I decide to take the better safe than sorry approach as far as my teeth go, I see a forgotten lunch box and soon after receive a phone call from the offender who left it. Will I drop everything and bring it by the school? Nope. No, I will not. Because I have to brush my teeth now before my mom brain fog kicks in again. I also believe in teaching my kids to fish, rather than just feeding them… or however that saying goes. 🤪 Good luck kid!

Okay, fast forward to that sweet sweet baby nap time. We played, went through many diapers, and feedings to get to this point. He was so comfy and cozy until “DING DONG”…. followed by all three dogs stampeding down the stairs barking full force. I can hardly describe the chaos that ringing my doorbell causes, usually I can handle it, but this time it was followed by a terrified and AWAKE crying baby. By the time I got to the door, no one was there, but I saw the lawn company’s truck in front of the house. I frantically grabbed a piece of paper and a marker to write a note to NOT RING MY DOORBELL again. I slapped it up on the front door and started the entire process of nap time over again.

So the entire point of this post, long story short I guess, is do not ring my doorbell or I WILL THROAT PUNCH YOU.

Frick. Did I brush my teeth?!!

-Sam