Consent is a Privilege

Those who don’t consider aren’t considerate

In my high school health class we were talking about consent and respecting other people’s boundaries. We were exploring a scenario where two people were dating: Person 1, a 31-year-old who was very interested in sex and person 2, a 20-year-old who had made it clear was not ready for sex. Person 2 had clearly set a boundary, but person 1 was slightly pressuring them, talking about how much they loved them and how they wanted to be close. At this point, a boy in my class (we’ll call him Mike) said, “but no one’s boundaries were being disrespected!”

Mike is someone I’ve only known for a short time and I’ve already seen him catcall, agree with other boys who say rape isn’t something they care about, and get irritated with me when I’ve told him not to touch me.

When you’re talking about consent, there is no gray area, there is no maybe. People either give consent, or they don’t. Despite this, it is violated everyday not only by rapists and abusers, but people in everyday life, intentional or not. One of my parent’s friends puts her hand on my back and pulls me into a hug when she sees me, but truthfully, she makes me very uncomfortable and I don’t want to hug her. Mike got annoyed at me for telling him not to touch me. I feel guilty when I say no.

I see my friends say yes to things that inconvenience them their headphones, their food, etc. It worries me because one day, what if they are too guilty to say no, something bad (sexually or otherwise) will happen to them. I have read stories of abused women, I have so much sympathy for them, and I do not want anyone (especially my friends) to experience that.

Consent should be something that is discussed and taught in school at an early age, when children are learning how to interact and empathize with each other. We’re learning about it now, but a lot of people I know, including me, are pretty set in our thoughts and ways. I am always very eager to learn from others, but I know that there is a limit. We need to teach children to respect the boundaries of themselves and each other. Don’t force them to hug people (yes, even yourself), teach them their bodies are their own, and set good examples. Just because consent is not respected now does not mean we can’t teach our future generations to be kind towards themselves and the people around them.

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