Making community work during the Covid19 crisis.
Community matters most today. Here are 4 tips for healthy communication in community.
Our community is bigger than we think. In the past, when I thought of community, what would come up was people who are like minded and did things together. I’ve been living in a co-living space and working in coworking communities. I actively take part in building startup communities, social impact communities who support one another in their growth and transformation, and I belong to blockchain communities with people passionate about what they do and a desire to build amazing things together.
These communities give me a sense of belonging and happiness. And I actively and happily choose to be part of these communities. In these communities, one person’s behavior affects the decisions and status of other members.
The Covid19 crisis is also showing me another type of community; the type I have always been part of, but rarely recognized and invested in, until a crisis hit. Coronavirus started in Korea in late January 2020, and now I sit in New Zealand as a ‘Corona refugee’.
Over the past few months, the fact that my actions have an impact beyond the people in my life has become abundantly clear. My actions impact the neighbors I am surrounded by, the people sitting next to me in the train, and people I have small interactions with on a daily basis. All of our actions can have a direct and indirect impact on a whole nation. It’s empowering and scary at the same time. With such influence comes great responsibility.
Covid19 is making us realize how interconnected we all are, and how we affect one another. Before Covid19, whatever I did, my hygiene or health wasn’t big enough to be reported across the country I am in. But now it matters more, and my impact is beyond the house I live in. I have the power to contribute to the health and safety of others, one way or the other.
To overcome this crisis, we need community effort because our collective fate is in all our hands. All of a sudden, Covid19 has made us more equal because no matter who you are and what position in society you hold, you are on the same boat with everyone else, and your actions impact the collective wellbeing.
Being a good community member starts with good communication
If you are interested in community, not just the idea of “community” but actually being a good community member, the number one thing you want to invest your time and energy into is being a better communicator. A well functioning community requires good communication from all its members. My experience of building and being part of many communities has taught me this lesson, many times through the hard ways.
Communication is easier said than done. It is more of a skill that can be learned and actively practiced, than something that is given. It comes from within you, and you alone can drive your development in this area. Being in community is one of the best ways to further hone your communication skills.
Here are four key pillars to being a good communicator so you can be a good member of a community. You probably know all of these, so treat them as a reminder.
Showing up
Showing up to participate in a community is the first step. I know, it’s very obvious. Because a community is made of relationships, you build and nurture relationships by showing up.
Active participation is great but it’s not always a must. Showing up is the unspoken basic rule when you are committing to a community. If you don’t show up then you have no voice. Showing up means presence (either physical or virtual). The success of the community really depends on how members are responding to each other. ‘How’ to interact isn’t the first priority. The first priority is to be there, for the good and bad times. It’s the times you show up that give you the full magic and the juice of community.
Speaking your truth
What does it mean to speak your truth? I am saying two different things here.
The first part is ‘YOUR’ which is about getting to know who you are, in short, self-awareness. This is a process, and the more you invest to understand yourself, what you want, what your passions are, your drivers and motivations, and why you chose to be part of a community, the better you can communicate.
A healthy community often has a diversity of people, interest, issues and intentions. You being a part of such a community means you have a unique voice to speak and much to listen to. If asked “what do you want?”, how many people actually have a clear sense of what they want and feel they are able to express it? Sometimes you might not even know what you want, because we are all trained to be passive, only following what others tell you what to do, conforming to norms and rules. Growing up in Asia, from early childhood we get taught things we have to do to “fit in” and to be rewarded. In our jobs we have to do x, y, and z to be promoted and rewarded from others.
Being a community member is a grown up thing — you are treated as a respected sovereign being, and the community is expecting you to speak up as who you are and with what you believe. If you don’t feel safe to do that, your community needs some reflection :).
Speaking of ‘YOUR’ starts with knowing who you really are. We are all born with different identities so the difference is normal and should be welcomed. Learning yourself isn’t an easy task to do but it’s something you want to keep working on. And a community can help, a.k.a. trigger, the growth in you.
The second part is ‘TRUTH’. When you know better who you are and what you want, you then communicate what is true to you in that moment: your feelings, thoughts, reflections and needs. Speaking honestly and transparently is hard, but it’s rewarding and liberating. This part is really all about practice.
It took me at least 2 years to learn how to fully express myself, and I am still learning. First, I was scared because oftentimes I will just do what the majority wants to do and I would go along with it, passively. After years of practice of self-reflection, getting to know myself more, I was able to start speaking honestly and more directly about who I am, what I care about, and my inner truth.
Community is there to support different perspectives. In a community there will certainly be people who have different views, and that is what community is about. Speaking honestly of yourself can feel scary. If it’s coming from your heart, your voice has power. The power of your truth is what affects other people in your community, not candy coated words. It’s OK to speak who you are.
One thing I want to emphasize here though is that finger pointing and imposing things on others is not healthy, and let’s not confuse that with speaking your truth. Your truth is about your experience. No one else can speak for you, but only you. Others can speak for themselves. Speaking up or being loud without doing enough reflection can lead to unhealthy communication, and unhealthy communities.
Being a good communicator is really about showing up as who you are, and with full integrity of what you believe in. That is your truth. Practicing to speak honestly and with your truth is very liberating and empowering.
Active listening
Speaking your truth is one part of communication. Listening is another part as important as speaking.
Speaking matters when there is someone to listen to. So please be there for others and have a two way communication. I witnessed so many times how active listening can change the mood of the conversation that leads to a successful community.
Active listening is about being fully present when someone else is speaking their truth. That is what being active means. It takes the same amount of effort as speaking your truth, and even more. Your role is to try to understand fully what the other person is trying to communicate. This is different from trying to pick the things you actually want to hear, or things that are in agreement with your views or perspectives.
People can feel your presence when you are actively listening, and as humans we are attracted to people who are good listeners. We all want to be heard when we are sharing our truths, and it’s important to each of us. Active listening is a silent action that makes a big difference.
Conscious facilitation
Having conscious facilitation is especially important for good communication to happen in a community setting.
A community consists of diverse humans and issues that require certain processes that make communication easier and focused. Sadly, the art of facilitation is often considered an extra function, and facilitators are not valued as much as they should be. If you have ever been in a well facilitated conversation, you will know what I mean. Facilitation is conscious preparation for the important conversation before, during, and after. I strongly recommend having a facilitator or moderator for big conversations so safe space can be created for people to speak their truths and to be listened to fully. This saves everyone’s time and energy.
I have found these tools to be very useful in my learning to be a good communicator, so I can contribute to the health of a community. We all know how powerful good communication can be, but I find we don’t invest enough time and energy to consciously develop these skills.
Covid 19 brought us great fear, discomfort, crisis, and uncertainty. It has also brought more time, energy, and reason to value community. It has given us an awareness of the wider community we are all part of.
A community can give you the environment to practice the skill sets which could lead you to success — in and out. Let’s all take this chance to become better communicators and good members of the communities we care about.
About Songyi
Nature-inspired entrepreneur ✨
Made in Korea 🇰🇷 living in New Zealand 🇳🇿
Partner Weave l Impact Collective
Member Enspiral l Ambassador EHF
