The Resentment Eldest Daughters Have Towards Our Parents
That we’ll never really move past
With each passing year, it becomes harder to be around both sides of my family. There’s nothing that prepares you for being the black sheep. Though I’ve always known I was more of a service to my family, rather than a part of it, it took something external to confirm that.
It’s seeing a friend's healthy familial units, a partner’s family, or your own ever-changing family dynamics.
Being the eldest daughter puts you in the unique position of seeing several different facets of your parents. Which, is interesting. You witness them become different people. Whether that's based on your feedback, their guilt, or just the passage of time and their own changing maturity.
You’re never prepared for the bitterness that starts to bubble under the surface. How difficult it’ll become to watch your parents be “good” parents for your siblings, in a way they never were to you.
It’s hard to articulate how difficult it’ll be for you to move on from it. Especially when your parents don’t remember. Or, believe that eldest daughters are supposed to be another parent.
I paid my way through university. I won’t say my parents didn’t help me, but I will say I had to work and take on a bit of…
