Write your own story
So here we are the first day of 2018. A new year A new slate.
Already there are listicles and articles of how to have your best year, various keys to success and lord knows how many videos with the violin background music telling how some celebrity actor or entrepreneur manages to live their life. Often without context.
With so much media telling us how to be like others, how do we cut through the noise and learnt to write our own story?
As a coach and mentor a recurring challenge many clients have had is taking control of their own narrative. To shape their own pathway without having to be afraid of what other people are thinking. This is a far from easy task to do but there are some simple things that I would like to share that have helped those I have worked with to creative their own story.
Success stories. What are those things that you have done in the past that you are proud of? Those things that either came to you naturally or if you worked hard on it you realise you had an aptitude for it.
Value stories. What are those values (or beliefs) that you hold on to that inform the kind of decisions you make, the people you want to be with or the environments you prefer to work with?
Conflict stories. Now this is an interesting one. Often people view conflict as a short spectrum between avoidance and defcon 1. The truth is conflict is more nuanced than this but how we react to it is a great teacher. Do you hold your boundaries when people challenge them? Do you speak your mind? Does it make you uncomfortable if you perceive someone doesn’t like you?
Wellness stories. Do you have a routine of self care? What are those moments or experiences that make you feel emotionally and physically in a good space? How do you unplug and switch off from the stuff that stresses you out?
Now these are some simple questions I love to explore with clients. There are a lot more but I thought I would give a taster so you can try them yourself.
What these questions do is open up a whole new way of recording the stories you have already experienced, identifying your strengths and giving you permission to create new ones.
So what if people want to only sleep five hours a day?
So what if someone has thousands of followers on social media?
So what if someone has started multi million pound companies?
If that’s not your story, that’s ok.
Too often we buy into other people’s stories instead of creating our own.
I have a couple narratives I want to develop this year. One I don’t mind sharing is to create tools and programmes to make people better presenters and public speakers. Of course there are thousands of others doing the same thing but I am writing my own story. My way.
Take time out not just this year but each and every day to focus on what makes you unique. Even if you don’t see it as unique just doing things the way you like doing and stop getting hung up on other people’s stories.
By all means be inspired by others but go craft your own adventure and the stories that come out of them.