How The Rules of Monopoly Apply to Emotional Debt

Remember playing Monopoly as a kid? Nearly 50% of American households have banned Monopoly from being played in their homes.

It’s game night, and you’re looking in the closet for a game to play with family and friends. As you reach for the box with the word Monopoly written on it, you hesitate to pick it up. You remember the heated exchanges that took place previously when you had all agreed to play nice. You begin to wonder if you should ban that game from being played in your home.

To win at Monopoly, one has to bankrupt all the other players. A self-appointed banker keeps track of everybody’s moves while also trying to win at all costs. Though you might think these two rules are harsh, they apply to emotional debt. Here’s what I mean.

What is your go-to move to meet your needs?

Monopoly is about getting the other players to give you everything they have. When they land on what is yours, they must pay you for landing there. Fines vary based on the properties you own. Therefore, many players hope they get to a point where they can tell others, “You owe me!”

Let’s face it. Many players believe that there is nothing wrong with getting others to owe them, even if it takes a toll on the other person. As long as they believe they can get away scot-free, who cares what happens to others? What’s your take?

Are you pushing your luck?

To get how emotional debt plays out in a family setting, imagine you have a skill your spouse wants for themselves. Perhaps you are good at making friends, cooking tasty meals, earning a high income, etc. Let’s say you are good at making friends.

By the way, emotional debt works both ways. It could be you who wants what somebody else has.

Since your spouse is not good as you at making friends, how do you think they will satisfy their need for friendship?

Your spouse is likely to rely on you to introduce them to others. If you try to say no, they might tell you that you owe it to them to help them make friends because you’re their spouse and you’re good at making friends.

Fast forward five years of you playing friendship matchmaker for your spouse. Tell me. How many heated arguments have you had with your spouse once you realized the price you keep paying for trying to meet their needs for them? This scenario sounds draining and can lead to massive resentment on both sides.

When does the game end?

In Monopoly, the game ends when all but one player is bankrupt. Some people call that winning at all costs. As if the end always justifies the means? Perhaps this is where emotional debt is much worse than Monopoly. Hear me out.

Emotional debt keeps going even if it bankrupts both sides emotionally and financially. Let me ask you. Did it occur to you to come up with the exact number of introductions that would be enough to pay off the debt with your spouse? If not, why not? You likely felt the pain on both sides. You knew the setup was hurting the relationship. And yet, you kept it going? Why?

Will you also ban emotional debt from your home?

Nearly 50% of American households have banned Monopoly from being played in their homes. When asked why the ban, they said there were too many heated arguments among the players. Maybe they decided to stop pushing their luck.

With that in mind,

Since emotional debt also lead to too many heated arguments, isn’t it high time to ban it from our homes? If you said yes, what are you actively doing to get out of emotional debt? We both know shoving that box back in the closet won’t make it go away.

Anne Beaulieu, inspiring the next generation of emotionally intelligent, strategic women through

• developing strategic emotional intelligence
• financial EQ coaching
• financial emotional intelligence consulting
• financial EQ implementation of your emotionally intelligent strategic plan
• chartered financial analysis and finance economics
• emotional rudder guiding you in solving emotional debt
• Forbes and The Curious Leader value contributions