How to Discover Emotional Debt
A case study on the denial of emotional debt.
What’s the problem?
Betty (name changed) sent me an email titled Question — Emotional Debt. She asked me, “Would you have 10–15 minutes if I wanted to run a scenario by you?”
I get it. Many people do not want to talk about their emotional debt directly. Instead, they will often ask indirect questions about it.
Let me be bold.
You cannot confront a problem directly while being in denial.
I told Betty she could book a discovery call with me, and it’s free. You can book one too.
What have you done to solve the problem?
Most people do not know what their problem is. How could they if they have been hiding it from themselves?
Betty did not want to book a discovery call. She wrote, “I just had a question compared to seeking a discovery session.”
You might want to know that denial does not want to be discovered.
During a discovery call, I will ask you direct questions to get to know you and the nature of your issue to see if I am the right fit for you. I will ask
- What’s the problem?
- What have you done to solve it?
- Why me?
I offered Betty various dates and times to meet online. None of the proposed options seem to work for her.
Is there a price to pay when there is no emotional debt?
Instead, Betty sent me the following email, redacted for privacy: “I recently distanced myself from (name), who was trying to trap me in emotional debt. I paid the price when I did not submit to the emotional debt, and I may continue to pay it because (name) lives on my street.”
Are you as confused as I was? I really wanted to help her.
I replied, “You might not like what I am about to say. If you believe you are paying the price, you are already caught in emotional debt with that person.”
What Betty was really asking was… Is there a price to pay when there is no emotional debt? And, of course, the answer is no.
The remedy for denial
Betty wrote back that she did not like my answer. She wanted a “remedy.” The remedy Betty proposed was for me to write a two-part article on how to stop paying the price for an emotional debt we do not have.
Let me ask you.
If you are paying a window cleaner to clean your windows but do not have any windows, whose fault is it? The window cleaner or the person paying them?
Betty did add that she enjoys reading my articles and social media posts.
Articles and posts are great, but they cannot hold us accountable to confront our denial. We need a coach or a mentor for that. That’s why you need to book a discovery call.
Anne Beaulieu, inspiring the next generation of emotionally intelligent, strategic women through
- An emotionally intelligent strategic plan (EISP) that meets your needs
- Strategic emotional intelligence with critical thinking
- Financial emotional intelligence that confronts and solves the problem
- Emotional debt relief
- Financial EQ Implementation of your EISP
- Financial EQ coaching for corporate and private clients
- Redirecting your emotional undercurrent toward building a sustainable legacy
- Holding you fiercely accountable by being the emotional rudder you and your business need
