What Are Hallmark Movies Costing You?
This article is a warning about emotional debt. Among Hallmark’s 80+ million movie fans, most are women between the ages of 25–54. If these women have a secret desire, what is it? I can’t speak for everyone who loves Hallmark movies. What I can tell you is that my secret desire (secret even from myself) WAS to be rescued. Little did I know that secret desire came with a price. Tune in.
Come into this Hallmark movie with me.
As snowflakes cover the ground with a white blanket, a damsel in distress flashes her puppy eyes at a potential mate. She has unmet needs and secretly desires him to meet those needs. She thinks she needs an outside hero. Little does she know that’s the problem right there.
Emotional debt is putting our needs on to others without conscious agreement (or self-awareness) on both sides.
“Let me get that for you.”
The damsel in distress hides what she truly needs. If we tell her she needs to become her own hero, the young woman would probably leave angry footprints in the snow, feeling offended that we see her as a victim. For her, it’s normal to have him say, “Let me get that for you” (whatever “that” is) again and again. But it’s not.
“Are you ever satisfied?”
Dazzled by her puppy eyes, he forgets his own needs. He jumps to the young woman’s rescue even after a hard day’s work. In his mind, he would do anything for her to rely on him 24–7. He loves being her hero! He tells himself the headache is worth it.
He does not face the price he is paying for rescuing his damsel in distress. He begins to resent her for being needy, and she resents him for failing to meet her needs. During a fight, he lashes out at her, “Are you ever satisfied?” She turns her back on him, and he leaves behind angry footprints in the snow.
“Please don’t go.”
In emotional debt, both sides feel powerless to meet their own needs.
From the example above, you can probably see that they both need to be their own hero, meeting their own needs. They both need to rescue themselves and become the love of their own life.
Consider this. A need is felt and is there to fill an inner void.
When we go into emotional debt, we think we can make someone else feel our feelings for us and fill our emptiness. However, the opposite happens.
When we give our power away, we get resentful because the inner void is still there. THAT’S A HEAVY PRICE TO PAY.
Having read this far,
Are you willing to pay the price (resentment and more) of emotional debt? If you answered no, what are you doing to solve your emotional debt? Though you might like Hallmark movies, you don’t want to leave angry footprints in the snow in real life.
P.S. I have a special report titled Emotional Debt and Its Impact on Your Relational Legacy. To get a copy, write ‘emotional debt impact’ in the comments.
Anne Beaulieu, inspiring the next generation of emotionally intelligent, strategic women through:
- Your personal emotionally intelligent strategic plan
- Developing strategic emotional intelligence
- Financial EQ coaching
- Financial EQ consulting
- Financial EQ implementation of your emotionally intelligent strategic plan
- Chartered financial analysis
- Finance economics
- Forbes and The Curious Leader value contributions
