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Alone on My 16th Anniversary… Why That’s a Good Thing
Today is our 16th anniversary, and I’m all alone…
But that’s actually a good thing.
I’ll explain in a minute (#3 below**).
Here are 9 lessons I’ve learned after 16 years of marriage:
1 — Don’t overwhelm yourself with too much change at once.
My wife and I moved to a new state, started new jobs, and got used to living with each other all in the first 6 months of marriage.
It was a rough year.
Take it slow.
Don’t create too much psychological stress.
2 — Learn your partner’s love language.
(google “Gary Chapman”)
My wife’s primary love language is Quality Time.
It took me a while to realize that just sitting next to each other watching TV didn’t count.
Learn what it takes to make your spouse feel loved.
3 — Make time for yourself.
It’s important to have your own hobbies, friends, and interests.
This gives you something to bring back to the relationship and keep you from losing yourself in the marriage.
**this is where my wife is right now. she’s at an amazing women’s retreat
4 — Go to bed at the same time.
We’ve gone to bed together almost every night for 16 years.
It’s a great time to talk, share stories, and connect.
Lately, it’s been mostly reading, but still a great way to wind down together.
5 — Walking out on a fight is a horrible idea.
It’s a control tactic that only prolongs the fight and makes things worse.
Stay and talk things out, even if it’s difficult.
It always cleans up the mess quicker.
