Block Your Exits in Order to Grow
By calling yourself out, you will find progress and vitality.
You want to be free to do and be whatever you want in your life.
This type of freedom could be called Negative Freedom, being free from constraints. Being single offers ample relational negative liberty.
Being in a committed, intimate relationship holds the possibility of Positive Freedom due to the moral, financial, sexual, logistical, and familial limitations. Positive freedom is acting according to the values, rules, and limitations you have taken upon yourself. Living within your positive freedom helps you develop character, congruence, and confidence.
So how can you leverage the positive freedom of your relationship in order to grow? By blocking your exits.
Relational Exits
An “exit” is any statement, defense mechanism, or behavior you do that serves to hide your true feeling, thoughts, and beliefs from your partner. An exit prevents you from actually meeting yourself. Most of us have lots of exits because they protect us from being vulnerable or getting hurt. In order to feel safe and avoid pain, we develop many exits so others won’t see the shadow parts of ourselves that we perceive to be unwanted and undesirable.
