Write a handwritten, man-to-man note
Ink-preserved affirmations can last a lifetime.
If you are a man who wants to affirm your father or son with a message they will keep close for years, maybe even decades, I have an idea for you: a handwritten note.
My desk and bookshelf illustrate the long-lasting power unleashed when a man affirms another man in writing. These mementos were penned years ago:
- Black ink on white paper, in legible cursive, beginning a letter with these words: “I’m proud to have a son like you.”
- Printed, barely legible handwriting, on sturdy paper stock, saying: “As I embark on adulthood, I get this overwhelming feeling of a blessing, a blessing from God that you are my father.”
- White crayon on black cardboard paper from a grade-school art project explaining why “the person that I’m most thankful for is my dad.”
It’s no accident that these messages from my father and two sons are all framed. I love getting affirming text messages and I even take screenshots of some of them, saving them on Evernote.
But they won’t land on my bookshelf.
Let’s put it this way. If my house caught fire, I would save my family first, then fight through flames to grab those notes.
They are tangible, touchable reminders that my relationships are more valuable and meaningful than my puny accomplishments.
In the closing seconds of a man’s life, some believe he sees scenes from his past, as if spliced together from home-made movies. The question emerges: Any regrets?
No one says they wish they would have spent more time at the office.
What I believe some, if not many, will regret is they didn’t find a way to communicate their love to the people closest to them — when they had the chance.
A handwritten note is the tool of choice when O’Keefe men want to express their feelings. A special kind of magic happens when feelings are sincerely expressed man-to-man.
When Dad was alive, he kept my affirming notes and letters close to his heart. My sons have dozens of notes from me.
Men like to share their power tools. That’s why I’m sharing this.
My hope is that this letter writing legacy of my family might inspire you to create your own priceless gift. Let me add here that affirmations like this are also powerful for wives, mothers, daughters and other people in your life.
I encourage that, too. But the focus of this and other articles I’m writing is “Broken fathers → → → Healed sons.”
Handwritten notes are healing. I had my issues with my Dad and his alcoholism but when I look up from my desk to read that 1985 handwritten note I know he loved me the best he could and took the time to intentionally put his feelings into writing. An ember somewhere inside glows brighter.
I end with a challenge.
Write and deliver a manly, handwritten note of affirmation to your father or your son. Do it by this time next week. You have seven days. The clock starts now.
The words don’t have to be perfect, just heartfelt.
Here is a writing prompt to get you started:
“When I think of you I feel …….. (Fill in the blank).
Potential affirming words include:
- Amazed
- Happy
- In awe
- Proud
- Grateful
Request: If you meet my challenge this week or have done so in the past, share an excerpt with me in the comments section below. That might inspire others.
