Make Thanksgiving Count
It’s going to look different this year. Don’t miss the opportunity.
It’s no surprise that Thanksgiving will be different this year. I won’t mention the “C” word, but you know what I’m talking about.
For many of us, the biggest change will be the absence of the large family gatherings we’re used to. No loading up the van to head to grandparents’ houses or hosting multiple families. This year, Thanksgiving will likely be limited to our own households in our own homes.
For me, Thanksgiving has been easy. My family usually goes to another family member’s home, leaving most of the work to someone else. We like to chip in, but the preparation (and the cleanup) usually falls on someone else.
Not so this year. And I think that’s a good thing.
As my family prepares for limited contact, I realize just how little I’ve directly contributed to any of the Thanksgiving memories my kids have experienced. I’ve turned the day into a spectator sport. I’m just along for the ride, and I rely on grandparents to create the traditions and cousins to keep my kids entertained.
Now we’re faced with the holiday at home. No grandparents. No cousins.
This Thanksgiving, I’m challenged with the responsibility to make it meaningful for my kids. I don’t want to just leave it up to my wife. I’ve taken the back seat too long. Many of us have.
So how do I make the most of this year? How do I make this the year my kids will remember the most? More importantly, how do I show them a father who isn’t just a passive observer?
Own the Time
Thanksgiving Break will offer an extended break from both school and work. This time is a gift. It’s not just a break from the pressures of busy work life. It’s a chance to be together and make the time count. It’s tempting to see this time as my time. But it isn’t. It’s our time. I need to go into this break with the attitude that it’s for us. It’s time to live in the moment, savoring every hour we’re together. It’s a chance to do the things the demands of everyday life prevent us from doing. The little things that my kids so desperately desire. Playing together. Working together. Laughing together. I will make this time count.
Share the Tradition
There’s also much opportunity to make the holiday our own. From the food prepared to the football games watched. Every aspect of the holiday has the potential to sear itself on their young minds as the things that make the holiday special. And I can’t just put it together myself. I’ll ask for their input so we can own it together. Traditions will run deep because we’ve created them together.
Show Them Gratitude
Most importantly, this focused time is an opportunity for me to show them true gratitude. We have more opportunity for a focused conversation centered around the holiday, our family, and what’s happening in our own lives. Rather than being the invisible dad in the midst of the usual holiday busyness, I want to connect in a way that I too often fail to do.
When we’ve settled at our table with the usual Thanksgiving fare, we won’t have the kiddie-adult table division. We’ll be together. No schedule. Nowhere to rush off to. Just a solid time together to give thanks.
I intend to address my wife and each son directly, sharing my heart with them about the ways they bring me joy. I’ll thank them for who they are. I’ll thank God for the gifts that they are and for allowing me to be their husband and father. I hope to hear what brings them joy. I hope to hear the things they’re thankful for. I hope to make Thanksgiving what it’s meant to be. A time of giving thanks. Real thanks.
I hope to leave a mark this year and maybe even change some traditions. Who knows? Maybe we won’t make it to Grandma’s next year.
