New Study Shows That the Fewer Limbs Your Pet Has, the Higher Chance of You Getting Laid
Published in
1 min readNov 7, 2016
After an intensive 12 year collaborative study, scientists from all around the world have found that not only does having a pet increase your chance of getting some, but having a severely maimed one brings people to the point of their taking off clothes immediately upon setting their eyes on your furry companion.
“Personally, I thought Chad was a complete fucking idiot when I met him for a date, but when I saw his dog’s hind legs didn’t work, something just clicked and yes, we had sex.” explained Lindsey Gavins, after the two had met in an Uber Pool one Friday evening.
The study has further shown that missing eyes are the runner up in the botched biology category, followed closely by a tie between complete blindness and skin disorders.
