Study: Leading Cause of Demise in US is Death

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The National Institutes of Health made a groundbreaking new discovery in a study released on October 25th. The study was on the leading causes of death in the United States of America. The study was conducted by the well known scientist Truman Paulney and his team.

Paulney says “We hope that this study can lead to new and more measures to help prevent these tragic occurrences from happening”

The chart representing causes of death is shown below.


The study can be found on the NIH website here.

“This study was done over the course of a few weeks. e were working 24/7, checking obituary websites and funeral services,” says one employee who did not want to be named for personal reasons.

“Overall, I think this operation was a success.” Said Truman Paulney. I am just glad we had a big enough budget.” The operations budget was 4.5 million USD. All funded by taxpayers.

“I hope that the NIH are happy with this data. We sure worked hard for it.” Said a worker. “The hours were rather extreme, 11 hours on weekdays, and we also had to work 3 hours at home on weekends. I think the worst part was the time we spent studying inside a coffin.”