The Lies of Imposter Syndrome
Submitted by M
“You Deserve This!”
“You earned your right to be here”
Those were the words that rang in my ear as my boss handed me my confirmation letter. I had just transitioned from part-time to a full-time associate but fear took over my excitement. Fear that they’d found out that I’m not as smart as they are, that I’m not as capable as they thought. I felt like a fraud.
The only thing my mind kept telling me was that I didn’t deserve it. I had worked hard, but was it enough? Was I truly qualified? Did I really belong?
The answer to all those questions was yes. But I couldn’t see it at that time because I allowed self-doubt and low self-confidence to consume me. It took a lot of positive self-talk, prayer, and emotional support from my friends and family before I finally started seeing what my manager and colleagues saw in me:
Worthy.
M, 25.
How many times have you been through this similar situation?
As a creative, how many times have you felt your content wasn’t original? Have you ever felt as though your colleagues figured out you didn’t actually belong in your position or even as a graduate, did you ever feel like you were undeserving of your achievements?
This is the deception of Imposter Syndrome, a term that was coined by Dr. Pauline Clance in the 70’s. Funnily enough, it was a term that was initially attributed to high-achieving women as “since success for women is contraindicated by societal expectations and their own internalised self-evaluations, it is not surprising that women in our sample need to find an explanation for their accomplishments other than their own intelligence.” Although this reasoning was developed in the 70’s, it is definitely still accurate in our present society.
Whatever rubbish society has led women to believe about themselves, Imposter Syndrome happens to both men and women. It’s mostly a feeling of phoniness and at times being undeserving of merit in high-achieving people.
It’s a feeling that can be completely overwhelming but there are sure ways to overcome it:
1. BE KIND TO YOURSELF
When your mental health is involved, you need to put you first boo. Stop constantly criticising yourself! Yes, it’s easier said than done but it’s all about focusing on renewing your mind. Focus on the truth of what God says about you, He is not a man He cannot lie and it is right there in His Word. Learn to give yourself a pat on the back, you got to where you are because of your own effort.
2. “MY ACHIEVEMENTS ARE VALID.” REPEAT.
If you have to list out your achievements one by one daily then so be it, there’s nothing wrong with reminding yourself of your accomplishments. Take the time to think about how you achieved them and although you may have received some help along the way (who hasn’t?) you’ll find that it was because of your own hard work and research.
3. STOP AIMING FOR PERFECTION.
It does not exist, sis. The harsh reality of life is that there will always be something or someone better but that doesn’t mean your own achievements are any less, every experience is an opportunity to learn and keep aiming higher till you are satisfied.
4. SOCIAL MEDIA: ISSA TRAP.
All that glitters is not gold. That saying becomes truer everyday, not everybody is as successful as they look and this warped appearance can make you doubt yourself and your abilities. Avoid social media when you can or if you really can’t, try hard not to compare yourself to others, comparison is the thief of joy.
