13. Wednesday

“I see a few new faces today. Welcome.”
I recognize a couple of people as I file in behind everyone, trying to look like I belong. 
“There are plenty of pillows there in the corner. Grab one and take a seat, please.”
I smile as I drop my pillow between two women in the back row. I watch them as they sit down and fold their feet cross-legged in front of them. Thankfully I wore pants. 
“The purpose of meditation is to get out of our heads for a brief time, to relieve stress, and to experience peace even if just for these thirty minutes. Don’t think about it. It can be a difficult process. Just the act of sitting starts leading you in the right direction.”
The instructor continues about relaxing and peace. But my mind drifts to the report I have to work on and the meeting I have to attend later in the day. 
And then it hits me when I hear the people around me take in a collective breath. 
I came here to experience something new, and all I can focus on is work. 
What is wrong with me?
No wonder I’m sick of my job. It’s become my world. 
I look to the woman on my left. Her eyes are closed. Her hands are in her lap. She’s wiggling her shoulders. 
I can do that. So I follow her lead. 
A little shrugging and I can feel the tension. It doesn’t go away, but I can feel it shift. 
I close my eyes and promise myself to keep them closed until I hear the instructor tell us to open them. 
Then I sit. 
I breathe. 
I listen to everything around me. 
I squirm. 
I tell myself not to think. 
But I make it. 
When the instructor tells us to open our eyes, I do. And I feel better. 
Maybe there is something to this. 
Maybe I’ll have to keep next week’s session on my calendar.

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This is part of my experiment to write a romance novel by writing one chapter a day for 365 days. Read more about it here.