Knightly Excuses: Students’ Best Reasons for Missing Class

Looking for more excuses to miss class? Your fellow Knights are here to help!

Erika Peterson
The Herald
4 min readMar 5, 2018

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By Erika Peterson

Class. We’ve all missed at least one in our life. Whether it be from sickness or other ordeals, sometimes it’s inevitable. It is now 2018 and in today’s tech-savvy and meme obsessed generation, the generic excuse of “My dog ate my homework” is dying a slow and painful death. Here are some of the best excuses Southern Virginia Knights have today!

Left to Right: Krislee Twiner, Wyatt Milton, Mitzi Valdiva-Vasquez

There was a mouse in my kitchen that ate through my bagels, so I had to call my housemates and my landlord, which made me slightly late to my 8 AM class.

— Krislee Twiner, ’18, Spanish major.

I have a title to uphold: “King of Procrastination.”

— Wyatt Milton, ’21, Music major.

Sorry I’m late. Mercury was in retrograde, I couldn’t risk it.

— Mitzi Valdivia-Vazquez, ’20, Psychology Major. (A perfect excuse for Professor Knudsen’s astronomy class.)

Left to Right: Bunny Anderson, Jayde Ehrenzeller, Maya Watkins

I had to refill the peanut butter jars.

— Bunny Anderson, ’21, Psychology major.

My baby blew out her diaper and then puked ferociously and everyone involved needed to change clothes.

— Jayde Ehrenzeller, ’18, English major.

I had to go feed Pudge because he controls the weather.

— Maya Watkins, ’20, Biology major (quoting Disney’s Lilo and Stitch).

Left to Right: Zan O’Grady, Lindsie Olsen, Serenna Fly’s dog (Emma)

Bohemian Rhapsody was playing on the radio and I couldn’t just leave without finishing it.

— Zan O’Grady, ’19, Politics major. (Or should she have said, “Sorry, I tried to leave but they wouldn’t let me go!”)

I forgot I existed until someone asked me why I was on the floor.

— Lindsie Olsen, ’20.

My dog cut her foot open! [As proof] I don’t have any gory pictures, but I do have plenty of pictures of her!

— Serenna Fly, ’19, Classics major.

Left to Right: Laura Santos, Lainie Thompson, Robby and Gloria Salisbury

Walking up Chestnut Avenue…[need I say more?]

— SVU alum Laura Santos, English major.

One night the light outside the Lofts spontaneously combusted and I said ‘I had to put out a fire that night.’

— SVU alum Lainie Thompson, Liberal Arts major.

Both graduates of SVU, (2016 and 2015 respectively), husband and wife Robby and Gloria Salisbury have these excuses in mind:

The institute had waffles and hot chocolate!

— SVU Alum Robby Salisbury, English and Liberal Arts major.

Um, I’m not late, your clock is a few minutes fast. See, my phone is set to the proper time by satellite!…that one actually worked. In my defense, I actually believed it was true at the time.

— SVU alum Gloria Salisbury, Theater major. She also added,

If you’re late to philosophy [Reason & the Self], you can always argue the relativity of the existence of time.

Photos courtesy of those quoted.

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