You Don’t Want To Go To Hogwarts
By Will Dryden
Look, I get it. Ever since you were a kid, you’ve wanted to go to magic school. You read Harry Potter and thought, “wow, yes, now THAT is the life for me.” You waited and waited and were immensely disappointed that no owl showed up on your eleventh birthday.
Well, I’m here to tell you that owl showing up would have absolutely ruined your life. If I were to write out all the ways Hogwarts would traumatize, maim, or kill you, we’d be here all day. So here’s a video instead.