We’re Not Really Strangers: The Card Game That Changed Everything
By Riley Rehl
“It’s a game where vulnerability and connectivity triumph over everything else” — Ty Day (‘22)
WARNING: feelings may arise
Have you ever wanted to ask someone a question, but the right time to ask it never presents itself? Maybe you wish there was a safe environment where you could open up and really talk to someone.
Last spring, I spent the best $25 of my entire life. I bought a card game. But not just any card game. I ordered the original “We’re Not Really Strangers” card game. I didn’t know the impact that that red box, filled with cards, would have on my life when I made the purchase.
I quickly realized this game isn’t like any game I’ve played before.
We’re Not Really Strangers was designed and created by Koreen, an L.A. based artist and model. She created this game “with the intention of bringing ‘more meaningful connections to everyday life.’” (WNRS website)
If my experience with WNRS at all resembles the thousands of others who have bought this game, then Koreen has achieved her goal…with flying colors.
“Playing We’re Not Really Strangers was impactful and eye-opening experience” — Sam Durkin (‘24)
THE OVERVIEW:
“Do you really know your best friend? How well do you know your mother, sister, or anyone else close to you? WNRS is a purpose driven card game. Three carefully crafted levels that allow you to create meaningful connections with friends, family, a significant other, and even a complete stranger. Ready?” (WNRS website)
Level 1: Perception
Level one is when your perceptions of others are challenged.
Each player reads a card and everyone answers it for them.
Do I look kind? Explain.
Finish the sentence: Just by looking at you I’d think _____.
How do you perceive others? Do you think you are right in your assumptions?
Level 2: Connection
This round of the game is where things get real. Not only is it my favorite level, but this is the one where tears are shed and you answer hard questions honestly.
Every player draws a card and then asks another player of their choice the question.
Finish the sentence: Strangers would describe me as ____. Only I know that I am _____.
How are you, really?
Are you lying to yourself about anything?
If you could get to know someone in your life on a deeper level who would it be and why?
How would you respond to those questions? With an audience that is genuinely there to hear your answer, WNRS makes it possible.
Level 3: Reflection
The final level is about reflecting on what you have learned about yourself and others while playing the game.
Like the first level, each player draws a card and everyone answers it for them.
What about me surprised you?
What about me is hardest for you to understand?
How does one earn your vulnerability?
As you play, you are taught something new from friends and strangers alike. Each experience will be a new one.
When asked what they thought of WNRS these students responded:
“We’re Not Really Strangers is probably the most unique game I have ever played…in a good way. It’s the most real and fun way to get to know people whether they’re your friends, family, or strangers! You get to know them on a deeper level and you learn more about their personality, preferences, and opinions. When I play WNRS, it helps me understand even my close friends better.” — Sam Durkin (’24)
Ashley Cannon (’24) said, “I love it! It’s amazing. It connects people in ways that would not happen without the game.”
Next the students were asked what sets WNRS apart from other games…
Ty Day (’22) said, “I think it’s a game where vulnerability and connectivity triumph over everything else and I think it’s beautiful. I think other games are more competitive in nature. Me vs you, as opposed to connection…it’s not really a game…it’s more like a bonding session. It’s therapy.”
“Usually when you play card games it’s competitive and you want to win, but this game is different. It’s just a game to understand people. You play it to strengthen connections with people and get to know them. There’s no competition at all, so it’s relaxing instead of stressful.” — Cannon (’24)
Sam Durkin (’24) said, “Obviously, WNRS is very different from ordinary games. When I think of other games I think competitive…or at least that’s how I get during games. After playing WNRS you walk away with amazing feelings for everyone that you played with and feel like you’ve come closer to everyone involved. It’s pretty spectacular.”
In addition to the original card game, “We’re Not Really Strangers’’ has released several expansion packs and editions that target questions specific to your needs and stage of life (i.e. dating, in a relationship, healing, etc). These expansion packs include:
And more…
I have purchased 5 of the expansion packs in addition to the original game and each pack brings with it new conversations and perspectives.
When asked what their favorite expansion pack is, here’s what these students said:
Cannon said, “I love the family edition. I played it with my family over Christmas break and it was much needed. We were all crying and we addressed things that needed to be addressed. We now have a deeper understanding of each other, which wouldn’t have happened without WNRS.”
Durkin said, “As far as the expansion packs, the inner circle is awesome. I love it all. I think the original edition is my favorite, probably because it’s the first one I played.”
This game has been the catalyst of some of my most vulnerable moments. It has brought me closer to my friends and family. It creates an environment where you can ask the tough questions and look within. Like I said before, the best $25 I’ve ever spent…but the memories that have come from it, those you can’t put a price on.
