Masculinity: How do we define it in 2018?
This article was written by Rachel Wortmann, as a result of the intellectual rigor of a Junto, with Erik Hansen, Tim Riser, Minna Wang, Kyle Harrison, Sydnie Keddington Ludlow, Megumi DeMond, and Shantel Sanders
This Junto discussion was inspired after reading Robert Webb’s book, How Not to be a Boy, which talks about how the concept of masculinity follows and shapes boys and men. Society’s perception of what makes a man manly influences many factors in men’s lives such as openness regarding sexuality, emotions, relationships and mental health. Our definition of masculinity has traditionally behaved as an umbrella over most male life decisions and behavior. Once this umbrella is removed, it may be difficult to navigate without it. This article isn’t an academic overhaul, but rather serves to instigate further questioning on masculinity and how we define, and if we even need it, in the modern age.
masculinity
ˌmaskjʊˈlɪnɪti/
noun
possession of the qualities traditionally associated with men.
“handsome, muscled, and driven, he’s a prime example of masculinity”
synonyms: virility, manliness, maleness, vigour, strength, muscularity, ruggedness, toughness, robustness
(taken from the Oxford English Dictionary)
One size fits all
How do we perceive masculinity in 2018? Traditionally, masculinity was a one size fits all situation. There was a practical guide to how men were to behave and act in society: they were protectors and providers. As innovation, social norms and technology have shifted and developed and immediate threats to humans have diminished, men’s place in society is arguably less clear. If there isn’t anything to protect against, what is the purpose of a protector? If the other half of the world can also work and make a sizable income, what is the purpose of a provider?
One Junto member offered that this lack of clarity has left some men feeling hollow and unempowered, unclear of their role in society. These men may feel lonely and disconnected because their expectations of life were so tightly linked to this idea of masculinity. Other men aggressively cling on to these traditional definitions of masculinity, which now more and more ostracizes them from mainstream society.
As society has developed and in the time of #TimesUp and #metoo, what are our expectations of men? How are they to operate and go through life now that the lines have shifted and the once clear life path juts out in many different directions?
Boys don’t cry
When we discuss masculinity, we have to approach how we expect men to display emotions. If a man was sad, the manly thing to do was to hold in tears and portray a stoic existence. If a man was frustrated or angry, he was to be aggressive and loud, not calm with an intention to ‘talk it out’. In Webb’s book, he describes his experience following his mother’s death and how society allowed him to display, or not display his sense of sadness, loss and mourning. Today, do we as a society still expect men to display a smaller range of emotions than they actually feel? Are we surprised when men cry? Are they less-of-a-man?
“I love you.” “I know.”
When discussing masculinity and how men are to behave in society, we must understand men’s roles in relationships, particularly romantic ones. As offered above, being nurturing, openly loving and vulnerable in a relationship are perhaps still not the norm in today’s romantic dynamics. How have expectations in, particularly heterosexual, partnerships shifted? If the man isn’t the protector and provider, how do they operate in these relationships? What is the role of a man in heterosexual relationships where a woman can protect and provide for herself and a family life never before?
I kissed a boy
The arguably changing definition of masculinity isn’t just shifting heterosexual relationships and how men are expected to operate in them, but it makes us observe what we expect from men and their sexuality. No longer is the discussion just if a man is homosexual or heterosexual, and those are the only two paths. There have always been many paths for human sexuality, but confronting how we define masculinity in the light of these is a conversation we as a society must have.
You’re just stressed
Never before has there been more dialogue around mental health, but when applying these conversations to men’s struggle with mental health, we tend to fall short. For example, to be anxious and depressed do not align with the traditional definition of masculinity (remember, men aren’t supposed to feel anything much beyond anger and frustration). Nonetheless, men obviously struggle with mental health as well as women, but how do we as a society encourage a dialogue or general openness around subjects such as mental health in men?
At the close of this Junto discussion, we had more questions than answers on how we define masculinity in the modern age. This is why we curated this article to instigate further societal conversation on what is means to be masculine in 2018.
Some of the resources we used:
