How to Increase the Quality of your Decision-Making in Motherhood.
Have you had self-doubt since becoming a mother?
Do you feel like you are constantly re-evaluating decisions you’ve made because you felt like they were not good enough?
Since giving birth, I realized that I experience more self-doubt than I would normally. I found myself constantly thinking whether I am doing the right things, and making the right decisions for my baby. I feel it is probably because the stakes are higher now since I am responsible for the survival and well-being of another human being.
It’s scary to make mistakes, isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be nice if we had a framework or guideline to follow so that we are less likely to make decisions that we will regret later?
Today, I want to share my Decision-Making Tree Model which used to help me make better quality decisions.
#Step 1: Prioritize your decisions
Rate how important your decision is to you. Low priority matters don’t deserve too much of your valuable time and mental energy so I find it is wiser to delegate it to my husband or mum.
#Step 2: Adopt the doctrine of binding precedent principle
As per the common law in the legal system, a binding precedent must be followed by future cases from a lower jurisdiction with similar circumstances.
Applying this principle to our decision-making, we can use previous judgements to help us decide our courses of action. I personally benefit from adopting this principle because I don’t have a lot of time and energy to dwell on repetitive matters.
#Step 3: Test it against your heart
If the nature of the decision-making is new, you can use the following testing criteria to help you determine the best action to take. Please assign 2 points if you answer yes, 0 points if you answer no, and 1 point if you answer unsure/maybe.
- Value Alignment — will your decision honor your life values and what is important to you?
- Gut Feeling — do you feel your decision is the correct decision? What’s your gut feeling about this decision?
- External Impact — will your decision create negative external impact?
By adopting this approach, I found I could reduce my daily mental clutter and most importantly, I could achieve consistency in my life. In my humble opinion, being consistent allows me to manage self-doubts to a certain degree as it allows me to achieve predictability. One of the motherly truths I learned was that predictability in early motherhood is almost impossible.
So to close, I’d like to leave you with this quote:
We should make decisions in life with our hearts, not our brains, not only in music but in daily life.