Don’t Stand In Front of the Food and Other Networking Tips
There are few things that will get me up, out of the house and on a train to NYC by 7am, but the opportunity to hear from, learn from and hang out with great women is one of them. Such was my day on Thursday, May 14 when I headed off to the Lower Eastside Girls Club to take part in TheLi.st’s inaugural Power Habits conference, inspired by the best-selling collection of essays. Excited to see some old friends and put faces to names, I was also ready collect some new weapons for my personal and professional arsenal.
A connector at my core, of ideas, of people and of organizations, I was particularly curious about the first panel entitled “Networking in the Real World” For me, a relationship builder, “networking” can often feel transactional, awkward and artificial. That sense was reinforced a few weeks ago when I attended a tech “unconference” last week billed at “THE ULTIMATE” in networking, and the experience was, well, transactional, awkward and artificial. But this being The List, I knew I’d be learning something different and of value.
I wasn’t disappointed.
As framed by moderator Rachel Sklar, co-founder of TheLi.st and herself a connector extraordinaire, networking is a skill to be developed and is something most people don’t understand well enough to do effectively. As the first panel made clear, successful networking is as much a function of thoughtful and intentional planning by the event hosts as it is of the efforts of the individuals attending.
Ranging from the practical to the fun, here are my take-aways:
When Planning An Event:
Be Clear About Your Mission and Curate Accordingly. Alison Boyd Gelles, long-time Executive Director of Renaissance Weekend, explained that to foster candid discussions and unlikely relationships, RW attendees are curated to be both inter-generational and inter-disciplinary. Kate Gardiner, founder of DSTL and a digital strategist working at the intersection of legacy media and new technology, curates events of all sizes, including regular, intimate dinner parties, takes a somewhat different approach, bringing together people she believes will have specific benefits to one another, e.g., artists seeking funders and patrons of the arts, whiskey lovers and whiskey distillers, brands and agency people.
Build relationships. Being able to curate a successful event is reliant on the event hosts’ ability to build relationships over time. For Alison Gelles, key to her and Renaissance Weekend’s long-time success is being respectful of people’s time, understanding them and being succinct and responsive in her interactions with them. Kindness and a foundation of trust have been the cornerstones of her success in ensuring RW is considered one of the premier, most interesting and consistently fresh conferences, even after 25 years.
Reduce barriers and create opportunities for interaction and engagement. Renaissance Weekends are not hierarchical or exclusionary; in fact, they are just the opposite. You might find yourself sitting at a dinner next to a Pulitzer Prize winning author, a neuroscientist, or singing show-tunes with well-known business leaders and media pundits, all of whom go by their first name over the course of the weekend. Taking a page out of Summit Series’ book, Kate also focuses on accessibility and engagement: she creates circles, interactive talks and smaller moments for collision for people to connect to one another in intimate and authentic ways.
When Networking:
Find Common Ground, Nisha Chittal no longer tells people her age: she wants who she is and her experiences to define her, not the number of her years on earth. Nisha is a member of a number of listservs (like TheLi.st!) with other people where she had interests, industries and perspectives in common — and where age doesn’t matter. Nisha also advised the room simply to take the plunge and send “cold” emails. She’s found that most people are incredibly responsive, particularly if you include a compliment regarding their work or an article showing that you’ve done your homework and know and appreciate their work.
Build Relationships. Nicole Sanchez, Founder of Vixxenn Hair, counsels on focusing on building relationships rather than a transactional “what’s in it for me.” Working the room, asking questions rather than constantly talking about herself, being curious and showing personal interest in the other person has served Nicole well as a founder of a startup.
Set a goal. Understanding why you’re attending an event (or reaching out to someone) is key. For Kate Gardiner, at large events, she meets 12 new people and then allows herself to hit the food and drink. For others, it may be a matter of doing something that has nothing to do with their “real world” work: Rachel loves finding people who will belt out tunes alongside her, finding that nothing bonds people together like a good show tune.
As the panel wrapped up, Rachel shared a final tip that seemed to resonate with the room: no matter what you do or how interesting you are, to make some successful connections and relationships, never stand between someone and the food and drink!
