Own Your Power
Being a woman is rough. (Surprise!)
From calls of “Hey Mami,” as you leave your apartment, to making marginally less than your male counterparts, to pushing a child out of your body, it’s hard out there for an XX chromosome.
But when things remind you how fucking awesome it is to be a woman — owning your killer curves, negotiating the raise you deserve, bringing life to the world — the clouds part.
TheLi.st’s inaugural Power Habits of Awesome Women conference created that world, where no outlook was bleak because, fuck yes, you’re a woman.
For the uninitiated, TheLi.st is a stellar network of women from all genres of work, all committed to helping each other rise. It’s an incredible community, full of startup founders, entrepreneurs, media executives, and all-around bright ladies.
As a first-timer at a List event, I was reminded how good it feels to be in a room full of women who can all groan at the stupid stories about male higher-ups requiring “hugability” in addition to leadership skills, or VCs calling a viable business a “nice project.” It’s refreshing to be in a room where everyone can in unison think, “fuck that,” then get back to discussing how to be the best #bossbitches we can be.
To list all of my takeaways would likely turn into a Russian novel of feminist ‘Yas Queen!’ moments, so I narrowed it down to my top 3.
“Be Hungry, Not Thirsty.” -@nicolesanchez
When you’re looking for a job, for a new opportunity, for a coffee with someone you admire, it’s easy to get bogged down in I’m-Not-Worthy-isms.
You are worthy. Be confident in your brain and assert your self-worth. There’s always going to be someone, somewhere (like the ever-present toothpaste-dissenting dentist) who thinks less of you because you’re young/a woman/curvy/not white. They’re not worth it.
I once interviewed with the rudest executive I have ever encountered. He answered emails while I answered his questions, cut me off, then shooed me out of his office without letting me get to know the position or the company. Instead of fretting about it (okay, I vented to 8 people because, really?!), I said, “Not for me,” and moved along.
Be hungry for the french fries of your life, your career, your freedoms as a woman. Fight for them, don’t beg for them. They’ll taste that much richer when you finally get them.
“Falling from the Top,” — @JillAbramson
Sometimes, you fail. Quietly, spectacularly, you find yourself at the bottom of a previous achievement, where beating yourself up is a lot easier.
It’s a difficult thing to accept for everyone, but for me, failure has always felt heavier. When I fail, I feel like I have let down my generation and the women I respect. The pressure to succeed at anything, whether I love it or hate it, takes over, and I’m churning churning churning. Everything I do spirals to become of worse and worse quality, and eventually I burn out (which usually leads to a few too many drinks and nonsensical tears).
That’s where the good stuff starts. When you’re at the bottom, there’s only up. The good stuff can really come into focus, the bad stuff stays at the bottom.
If it’s not worth your time, get rid of it and start climbing.
“Be Eggsy,” — @NaamaBloom
Embrace the idea that women are fucking strong as hell. (Thank you, Kimmy Schmidt.) We don’t need to be “ballsy,” because we can be just as brave as men sans balls. Considering the pain and suffering our eggs cause us, I’d say being eggsy is a million times more tough than being ballsy (but that’s just my personal opinion, I’ve never had balls).
Now more than ever, we should take risks. There’s nothing to lose that isn’t already at stake —why not go eggs to the…kegs? Dregs?
Do what you love, all day every day (or in the off hours of the night, like I will do until I become the Tina Fey-spinoff). Say “no” more. Don’t apologize for taking up space. Be visible. Own your power.
