IntrovertWorld
Is Your Introvert Strength Killing You Softly?
Being able to stay alone is considered a strength. Don’t get too comfortable.
It’s okay that you don’t want to go out. It is awesome that you can stay alone. But you are human, and sadly, we are all social beings. We need each other in that way. A part of us is nourished when we socialize.
I prefer being alone most of the time. A little too much sometimes.
I have, at times, stayed indoors for 3 to 4 days with the occasional grocery run with no more socialization apart from the people in my immediate environment and I saw no problem with that. It’s a curse in disguise.
While I don’t get bored with myself, run out of things to do when I am alone or need to talk to someone, there are other ways this affects me that I am not conscious of at the moment.
What happens when you don’t socialize?
There’s the most immediate ripple effect: you will lose connection with people you care about, especially if you are geographically distant.
I’m not the kind of introvert that becomes a little extroverted on social media. Unfortunately, I stay the same. Minimal small talk, a bit of avoidance (really not proud of that), and the most common preference to not socialize for no reason.
I have to push myself to connect with people or it just won’t happen for me. And I do, mainly because I like challenging myself.
I don’t like being in a comfort zone. Secondly, because I’m aware it’s healthy for me. Kinda like pushing those veggies you don’t like down your gut.
But before I knew better, I was blissfully ignoring how not socializing affected me.
Here are 5 ways the lack of socializing affected me.
1. I lost potential friendships
I made acquaintances not on my effort but because luckily it takes two to tango. On occasions, I’d meet amazing, interesting, or intriguing people and we would have good moments together.
I am friendly to talk to and start a conversation with. Boy! did I disappoint when you least expected me to.
After meeting new people, I didn’t push myself to connect with them more, just a mere text to check on them, it never occurred to me that I should, or that it’d be nice to check on them.
Eventually, I’d just forget. And that’s how I lost some of the best friendships I never had.
2. I lost friends I cared about
Friendships thrive on many things, and checking on each other is perhaps the most basic. People feel neglected when you treat them like they don’t matter. I did not understand that.
I spent days without checking in on people I referred to as friends, and I’d be okay with it because I eventually did.
Some people may be okay with that. But I know better now, people don’t want to feel neglected. Show them you appreciate them whenever you can and tell them you love them as often as possible.
Friendships are a give-and-take kind of ship.
3. I became a little distant from my family.
This can be horrible, it was for me.
Your family members may be stuck in a loop wondering if they did something to deserve the neglect or whether something you are going through is creating the distance.
Often, they will want to help. But there is nothing to resolve, is there? Cruel, really. Because you’re blissfully going on about life when momma bear is racking her brains wondering what to do.
It is easy to reverse this horror if you find yourself in it. Family members are the most accepting people you will ever find. They offer unconditional love, and bonds once broken are easy to mend.
4. I was gradually forgetting how to socialize
I did. What a drag it was!
Socializing goes beyond getting to know people on a friendly level. As a writer, student, lover, daughter, sister, and aunt, I need to know how to be with more than just friends.
I need to form connections that affect the quality of my life. It wasn’t easy when I was in that blissful ignorance.
Vital activities like learning how to market myself were tough. So was learning how to be there for people in different situations, let alone just being there.
Not being able to socialize makes it very hard to navigate through certain situations that affect your life.
5. It became a little harder for me to communicate with other people when I needed to
I first noticed this in my intimate relationship. Beyond the common dislike for confrontations, I had difficulties communicating with my partner.
It was hard expressing what I needed out of our relationship and even harder to know what he needed. I knew I needed to work on that if we were going to prosper.
I do better now that I push myself out of my comfort zone. It has not only worked wonders for my relationship but in other aspects of my life too. I understand people’s needs better and have come a long way in maintaining connections: in my family, my friendships, and business-wise.
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