You, me and Acne

Why you and I shouldn’t let acne destroy our confidence.

Like many women, puberty was not my friend as it came, not only with PMS and thus menses, but also with severe acne vulgaris. Small, red, painful numerous bumps littered my face and I felt like they would never go away.

Fortunately for me, at the time, I was in a place where I was mostly oblivious to the cosmetic requirements of perfect skin, and it was only when the acne calmed down (after about a year) that I realized the damage done. The post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation was unreal. Every part of my face has dark spots and scarring. That was when the trouble with self-esteem began.

I don’t recall much about the following years, but I do remember that someone told me to just keep my skin as clean as I possibly could, and that with time, the spots would go away and the hyperpigmentation would reduce. And they were right!

Well, I’ve started getting acne again — this time cystic, and it feels like I’m right back where I started. Actually, even worse. The pain, the itching, the bleeding, the post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation, and worst of all, the stolen glances and the unsolicited advice. More still, I am acutely aware of the internet, pop culture and its illusion of perfection. That’s okay, because I am a lot more confident than I was the first time around. And I’ll tell you why, in hopes that it may help you too.

Here are the reasons why acne should have no effect on your self-esteem.

1. We lost the lottery

Here’s one thing almost everyone forgets when it comes to skin. It is genetic. And if there’s one thing about genetics, it’s that they’re unchangeable. Many people who have “poreless” skin happened to have won the genetic lottery, something that I and maybe you dear reader, were not lucky enough to do. And that’s okay.

2. It’s a condition.

We often perceive acne as purely cosmetic. As if it’s something as simple as having uncombed hair or unpainted nails. We fail to recognize that acne vulgaris whether on the face or on the back, is quite a common condition and will not go away as quickly as we would like it to. This article by John Hopkins Medicine not only classifies acne under conditions and diseases, but it also tells us that it’s the most common skin disorder and will affect most people at some point in their lives.

It takes quite a while for it to be treated. It cannot be cured (I’m sorry). Acne has different grades, from mild (Grade 1) to severe (Grade 4). I’m currently treating Grade 3 acne with a number of prescription medications. I am aware that the treatment will take a long time and that it may get worse before it gets better. I am also aware that because it cannot be cured, it can only be managed for the rest of my life. I am also aware that to prevent possible flare-ups and breakouts, I have to continue to use the medication, even after the acne gets better.

Do you see how the process I’ve described is indicative of the fact that treatment is far beyond superficial? Even mild acne can take anywhere from 12 to 24 weeks to treat effectively.

I ask that we be cognizant of the gravity of the condition and that we look at it through kinder lenses. We must be gentle and less harsh to ourselves. The rest of the world is already harsh enough.

3. Where’s our glam squad?

The internet is an incredible place. There’s endless (mis)information and tons of people documenting their lives. It is however, not real. In fact, people only put up exactly what they want you to see, exactly how they want you to see it; and this applies to the skin. Celebrities have glam squads. A team of people whose only job is to make the celebrities look absolutely flawless. Safe to say, they do an amazing job.

Content creators and ‘skinfluencers’ have lights and cameras that blur and give an airbrushed look to the skin. There are photoshop artistes who retouch close-up photos of models to give them a ‘natural looking’ clear skin. It is truly unreal. We cannot allow ourselves to believe that these people look like this without help. We cannot compare ourselves to them. Reader, we must understand the simple fact that the internet is not real life and we must not take it as such.

4. You’re the only one with the mirror

Fun fact: I stare, very closely, at my face in the mirror for about 15 minutes every day. I look at every line and hair, and pore and pimple. I really want to get in there and see what’s going on. Reader, you may not do the same but certainly, you must fixate and think about your skin quite a bit.

There’s absolutely no one who focuses on your skin as much as you do. We are our own biggest critics, so it makes sense that we pick and prod at what we want to change about ourselves more than anyone else. If your dislike for your skin is based on the perception of others, I need you to understand that you are most likely inflating just how much or how badly they’re perceiving your skin. No one looks at you that closely for that long. (Unless they’re in love with you, in which case, your skin is the least of their worries. Yay?)

Some advice: Put down the mirror. Fixating doesn’t change the reality and unless you’re monitoring progress, what it does is give you time to overthink.

5. YOU 2.0

Every day that you wake up, it's a new version of you. One who is better, stronger and smarter because of the things that you learnt in the past day. We continue to grow and evolve as time goes on, and so does our mental state. The older I get, the more confident I become. Reader, I can only hope that it’s the same for you. As you get to see more of the world and as you gain new experiences, I hope that you begin to see the value in yourself and come to the understanding that nothing diminishes that value. Not even acne.

I fully understand why acne affects one’s self-esteem. In a world where the most popular social media accounts celebrate perfection, and where magazines and blogs are churning out tutorials on achieving glass skin with ease, it makes sense for people with acne to feel out of place. But I’m here to tell you that it gets better. Your skin will get better; your self-esteem will be better. You cannot let it dictate your self-worth and what you can and cannot do. You are who you are; you are valued, and you can do whatever it is you want to; with or without acne and you absolutely cannot let it rule you.

Hello there. My name is Kofe (pronounced co-feh) Thank you for reading. This is my first article on Medium and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Consider leaving a comment, a few claps, or a follow if you like! Thank you! See you at the next one ❤