Dear Other Woman, I See You!!!

It started one evening when my husband came home from work, and couldn’t look me in the eye when I asked him how his day went. He shrugged dismissively and said the day went ok, but I know my husband and I knew then that he seemed to be trying too hard to ‘shake it off’. I ignored the tiny little voice in my head that said something was off and put his dinner on the table in front of him. And I caught a whiff of your perfume…

Three weeks later, we were in bed, making love and he asks me to turn around, so he can ‘do it’ from behind. He’s never asked me that before, and I’ve always assumed that he doesn’t like the idea. So, of course I was a bit surprised, but I obliged. And I must say, we hadn’t had sex as great as that in a long time. Even then, I still refused to face the reality of your existence, though my instincts and everything else pointed to the fact that you had seeped into his life.

I came home from work one Friday evening and a treadmill had been delivered to the house. Apparently, my husband had ordered it and I was wondering if he was trying to tell me that I was getting fat. Don’t get me wrong, I still look great for a mother of two, and that’s because I take a 30 minute walk every morning and eat healthy. But for the seven years that I have been married to my husband, I have never been able to get him to go out to exercise. Of course he’s put on some weight, and I’m sure he knows it, but try as I might have in the past, I was never able to get him to take exercising more seriously.

So imagine my astonishment, when he got home that night and said he had bought the treadmill because he thought he was getting too fat and needed to start working on his weight. Hello?!! I’ve only been saying this for the last seven years… Anyway, I bit my tongue and had to act like it was a great thing that he was finally ‘listening to me’, even though I knew that it had nothing to do with me. And I must give you some credit; you’ve got him working really hard, because he’s on that damn machine every morning and evening, sweating it out. He won’t even eat half of the food I set in front of him, his excuse being that it will all go to his belly. Sometimes, he even has the effrontery to ask me “don’t you want a ‘sexy’ husband?” and to be honest, I really don’t want one if he’s not being sexy for me.

This year, Valentine’s Day was a Sunday. And I wondered just how he would handle the situation. God help him if he decided to boycott the entire celebration, he wouldn’t have heard the last of it. But I’m married to a smart man. It’s one of the things I love about him. However, no matter how smart my man is, he’s still not smart enough to realise that I’m smarter than he is. *Smh*. Let me tell you what he did, though I suspect that you already know.

He had flowers and hand-written love notes delivered to me at work every day of the entire week. I imagine this was supposed to make me deliriously happy and teary-eyed and clear of any doubts of his unflinching love for me; except it was a dead giveaway, the tell-tale sign that he was over-compensating for something. Just to put it in context, last year, I got one delivery on the day, and at home (not at work). His excuse was that it fell on a Saturday, so he didn’t need to send anything to me at work. Not that I’m complaining; I’m just comparing. Meanwhile, did you get deliveries everyday too?

Anyway, all the gifts came as he had planned and he was home early every evening that week, spending ‘quality time’ with us, until Friday, when he had to ‘work late’. I suspect that he was with you (yeah, you guys preponed Valentine’s day, you think I don’t know), because he came home long after midnight (I was in bed by then, pretending to be asleep) and he was exhausted, dropped off to sleep the minute his head hit the pillow. To his credit, he took me to dinner on Sunday night, real fancy stuff, and he was able to keep his fingers off his phone for the duration. Can’t have been easy for him though.

I showed up at his office one afternoon, just thought I’d drop by and surprise him, since I was in the area. I didn’t give his PA a chance to stop me walking in, and when I did, he was on the phone, leaning back in his chair, feet propped on his massive table, a huge grin on his face, but talking in hushed tones. He didn’t even see me at first, he was too busy tracing the pattern on his tie with a wistful finger. Looked like a proper school boy with a crush. Then he saw me. I immediately noticed two things; his wide eyes (like those of a deer caught in headlights) and his erection. Someone was making his (not so) little man salute, and it definitely wasn’t me.

Well, he got off the phone, quick, fast and in a hurry and next thing I know, he says ‘you should have called me before coming’. And I’m wondering if it’s such a bad thing for me to surprise my husband on a weekday. I have to admit, I almost gave up the game that day. What I really wanted to do was have a go at his throat and scratch his eyes out and rant and rave and embarrass the hell out of him. What I eventually did was smile and apologize for barging in unannounced. And then I gave him a quick kiss on the lips, told him I’d see him later and breezed out in the exact same way I had breezed in. You’ll never be able to understand how hard that was for me.

He’s been seeing you now for five and a half months, give or take a few weeks — yes, I’m counting — but I haven’t mentioned a word about you to him. I have watched him ‘sneak’ around to take your phone calls, remained silent when he’s come home smelling like he just stepped out of the shower, listened to him tell tall tales about supposedly long days at work, observed his pleasure at the slow but steady drop of inches from his waist line and I’ve caught him staring at me sometimes, trying to figure out what’s going on in my head. Like I said, my husband is a smart man, so he probably knows that I know or suspect something; he’s just not sure how much I know. And I intend to keep him guessing, for now at least. Until I figure out what to do.

So, this is just to let you know that you’re not as invisible as you think. Even though I don’t see you, I know you’re there. And I’m watching quietly, patiently.

Remember the saying; every day for the thief, one day for the owner…

Yours Sincerely,

The Wife

Written by MissO