How Do You Tell A Woman She’s Bad in Bed?

Too many times, men get the stick for allowing our male ego drive us especially when it comes to matters involving the opposite sex and in particular on sex related matters. Talking about sex, it recently occurred to me just how funny it is that most people do not think it is possible for women to be bad at it. Almost every time someone complains about having bad sex, everyone points fingers at the guy. And then the questions start flying around like is he big enough? Is he too rough? Does he do foreplay? Does he go down on you? Blah blah blah…

But I’m sure I speak for thousands, heck, millions of guys out there when I say I’ve had my fair share of Stiff Susan’s or Boring Bola’s in the sack. And when I say boring I’m not talking about ‘I-don’t-do-head’ boring, I’m talking ‘missionary-is-all-I-know’ boring. But on the real though, this isn’t even only about positions, preferences and what not, I’m just talking about the simple “technical” know-how. But before I get into details, let’s all agree on a few things.

  1. You probably don’t hear a lot of people discuss this topic because like I said above, when it comes to sex, it’s really easy to point fingers at the guy but also, sometimes, for us guys, when you really like a girl, you hang around long enough to tutor her in bedmatics. You invest time, energy and condoms in her sexucation with the hope that someday she’ll graduate and like Papilo ‘make you proud’. More often than not, we all know the teacher never gets to reap the benefits of his investment but you know we guys are generous like that so we just let it slide.
  2. Also, we talk about men and their egos but when it comes to sex, the female ego is bigger than the Eiffel Tower — Quote me. Toolsman, 2014. And it’s not hard to understand really. Naturally, women are supposed to embody sex — I mean (forget all that stuff Reni J wrote in her post on feminism for a second), just look at the average woman, the curves and edges on her body; you can say God put them under serious pressure just by the way he created them. So if in anyway you threaten this ‘God-given gift’ with a statement like — “Damn gurl, why’s your bed game like Dame P’s vocabulary” — that Eiffel tower I spoke about will definitely come down on your head.
  3. It’s bad enough that this generation is fickle and we get bored so easily but one other thing I’ve noticed is just how lazy we all seem to be. In terms of sex, since all the expectation is with guys, a lot of women see no need to educate themselves. Look, before you bite me, I’m not saying guys are better but possibly because we get around a lot more, guys learn on the job — from experience. But women, even if you’re a virgin, there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t educate yourself so that when you eventually release the Kraken… Dayuuuuum!

Ok, so now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I need to say that all the jokes aside, this is actually a very sensitive subject. I know a lot of guys who have left relationships because of this and they just never told the chic because they didn’t know how. Women struggle with this also talking about bruising the guy’s ego and all that but you will agree with me that it’s still easier to let a guy (who can easily get loads of other options out there) down on the account of his wack sex game than an angel-eyed, cute-as-hell looking chic. No? Ok, let’s practice. Look in those eyes and tell her.

Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’m going to leave this to us to discuss but my two cents — timing is key. You can’t do it, before, during or after y’all rolled out of the sack. It needs to be one of those times you’re fooling around cracking her up and like a chic farting in a public place, you just sliiiiiide it out of your left butt cheek.

Also, you can’t go all out and form honest opinion. Nope. You have to go Dr. Phil on her and use the questions technique like — Bae, are you ok with our sex life? Is there anything you’d like me to add or take away? Of course this is reverse psychology. The idea is to get her to ask you the same question and then you sliiiiiiide it out.

So that’s how I would do it but I’d like to read your thoughts on this. First of all, do we all agree that loads of women out there are also wack in bed? Yes? Share your experience with us (keep it PG). No? Tell us how you think it all boils down to the guy. And finally, tell us how to tell your partner (female and male) that they need to do better in bed. You know the drill, use the comment box to express you.

Written by Toolsman.