I’m Into It: Crush Week Edition

On oversharing, movie crushes, and detox bath salts

Jana Adler
NewStand
Published in
5 min readMay 2, 2019

--

Jana Adler is New Stand’s resident curatorial voice. If you’ve ever bought something in one of our stores and loved it, that’s all thanks to her. Now, she’s bringing her talent directly to you with this new column we’re calling ‘I’m Into It.’ Jana will regularly tell you the coolest things that are certain to make your day a little better. You can follow her adorable dog Avocado here.

In honor of New Stand’s Crush Week, I’d love to overshare with you. The movie that best personifies my feeling of a perfect crush is Sixteen Candles. Yours too? No way! I mean Jake Ryan– SWOON. Did those John Hughes scenarios ruin all of us who are still swiping and waiting for Jake to show up? Or is that just me? Is Christian Slater’s Heathers character going to show up at my window later tonight?

Since watching those movies I have almost always maintained some sort of crush — I am not sure if it’s because I am goal oriented, have been brainwashed, or just really like having something to look forward to.

Ashkahn has an entire line of cards most of which pretty much sum up exactly the right feeling a crush promises.

All Cards Ashkahn

I mean — YES — in a perfect scenario I am just handing one of these to my crush because I’m brave, I know the feelings are mutual, and let’s do this.

When you have it really bad for your crush I’ve been given the advice (and may or may not have actually done this) to get a white candle, carve their name in it, and light it at the full moon (totally not creepy at all) — hey — you can’t get what you want if you don’t ask for it.

Burkelman Candles Night Moves Candle

Similar to the missed connections section of Craigslist, crushes are all slightly romantic (if it’s mutual) and also maybe a little borderline creepy — take a look at the greatest hits compiled in this little pocket edition.

Knock Knock

So, crushing today… I wouldn’t be doing a comprehensive exploration if we didn’t touch on the apps. Whether or not you have had the pleasure of this modern day experience, please listen to this podcast, because it’s all just so fucking brutal.

I personally am not sure If I’m really bad at using the apps or if it’s just really bad out there. I conclude a little bit of both, but mostly the latter.

I knew it was over for me when I started getting a little sassy and calling out the fact that I am a real person, something I don’t think I have ever thus far felt the need to do in crush/dating world. Oh your notifications are turned off? You never check this app? Your dog ate your homework? What are you even doing on here, bro? We are all busy — this is NOT FUN FOR ME EITHER. Which brings me back to a crush, which is so much better than the current app economy of flippancy.

I would love for the app experience to net net to this:

Near Modern Disaster

This Near Modern Disaster card gives me hope that one day I will have someone to give it to — but really I’m pretty sure the real once and future crush is IRL and just waiting around the next… whatever. Or right in front of me waiting to make the first move.

And when we get together we can look at this card and we can sigh and think, Gosh I like almost had to settle for an internet version of you.

But thus far it’s been more like this:

Near Modern Disaster

So hold fast my friends. Stock up on Karuna face masks and some Herbivore detox bath salts because before you know it you’ll be compromising on what you’re having for dinner and what you’re doing on the weekends. Until then, enjoy the ride and keep the crushes burning bright.

Karuna + Herbivore

All products mentioned in this post are available at New Stand locations. Swing by New Stand to pick up anything you could possibly need to deal with a crush.

--

--