Okay, okay we know…

This week’s Hi5 will tickle your patriotic side

Politics isn’t everyone’s favorite subject. Things may be rough right now, but sometimes you just need to lighten the load and laugh a little. So this week, we bring goodies that we hope will bring you some extra sunshine and chuckles.

In case you forgot, here’s how Hi5s work…

You already know that you get one point for every dollar you spend at the stores. Well, if you buy any of this week’s Hi5 products you’ll get 5 points for every dollar you spend. That’s 5x the points! And don’t forget you can turn those points into bucks to use at our stores.

FCTRY Political Action Figures — Bernie, Hillary

Do you #FeeltheBern, #WithHer, or both? Now you can take your favorite Democrat icon home with you. We recommend you place them on your desk for an extra productivity boost.

• Action Figure Hillary: “I became the first woman in history to be a major party’s nominee. Get out of your crush’s DMs, honey. You’ve got a patriarchy to dismantle.”
• Action Figure Bernie: “I ran for president without any backing or support — from the Democratic Party… and ran against the Clinton machine. Don’t let some lazy group members hurt your GPA, kid.”

He Said, She Said Desk Signs

If you’re a nasty woman, make some fricking noise — and get your hands on some loud and proud desk decor worthy of a knowing look from Queen Bey. Show passerby you are not to be trifled with *snaps in Z formation*.

Dammit Doll — The President

Ah, the beautiful people at Dammit Doll have done an equally beautiful thing — transforming the POTUS into a blow-absorbent, plush figurine.

Here’s a lovely little poem from the manufacturer’s website:

“Whether you’re blue or you’re red,

slam this doll and leave nothing unsaid.”

Pretty straightforward, huh? Shhh, go ahead. Let it all out.

Alternative Facts Journal

Everything about our last election and political shenanigans have been unreal. Administrative affairs aside, is life even real?

This journal was made for the skeptic and fact-denier inside each and every one of us.

• “No, I did not puke on that hot girl mid-carousel ride at Six Flags. Human memory is false.”
• “No, I did not drunk purchase 240 pounds of Lucky Charms on Amazon last night. This is character defamation.”

Izola Flask — Tick Marks

Current affairs can’t stop the classy pre-gaming. Turn off the news and clink flasks with your best mates. And don’t forget to carry it to the next social event. Those tally marks are a pretty great conversation starter. Make ‘em guess what they mean ;)

Reed Wilson Coast to Coasters — East Coasters

Add some charm and lowkey East Coast pride to the social occasion with punny coasters. It might start a friendly feud with some West Coasters, but it ain’t a real party without a heated conversation about which side of the US is best. In the end, you’ll group hug in patriotic unity and shout-sing along to Kendrick Lamar’s “Alright” anyway.

Keep calm and…