Investing 101: how NOT to invest in Ponzi schemes

So today is My Day and I decided to take a little detour and gist you guys about my Ponzi scheming days.

To be honest, I don’t know whether to classify Ponzi schemes as investments, but personally, I think it is an investment option because of the possibility of higher returns. But if you have a different view on this you can comment below.

So back to my Ponzi Story…….

I used to say that I started my investment journey in 2020, but when I think about it, I actually think I started my journey in 2019, during my final year at the university.

Now I think what’s going through your mind is “which Ponzi scheme did she invest in? Is this girl alright ni? Is she going to teach us how to invest in Ponzi schemes?” Well to answer your questions-NO, If I knew how to invest in Ponzi schemes without loosing a dime, I would have been making thousands from my masterclasses. But still stay tuned in, I might just surprise you.

I know when some people hear Ponzi schemes, they start dishing out unsolicited advice, like baba no one asked you, and from my experience, there are two types of PONZI ADVISERS, yeah I said it. Lol.

The first type of Ponzi adviser is the NO GO AREA, these ones don’t even want to smell nor hear about Ponzi schemes, they are usually the ones that give advice as if they are wiser than Solomon. The second type of Ponzi adviser is the PONZI VITCM, these ones have been burnt by their Ponzi scheme investments and advise based on their experiences.

I know so much advice is usually flying in the air when it’s PONZI SEASON, trust me you should take that advice because I did and I was not entirely grateful. I won’t lie it pained my soul that I did not invest in some schemes and cash-out. Well, I am not here to bore you on how I missed out on some PONZIVESTS, lol I’m on a roll o!! But how I invested in a scheme and got massive returns in percentage form.

Now rewind to my final semester, all I could think about was how my allowance was going to end after I was done with my exams, and how I needed to start my hustle, and as fate would have it, I met Nkem: well this is not her real name, I just like Igbo names.

She was basically gisting me about how she invested 1000 naira and got 7,000 naira, and suggested I should register under her to get my own return since she’s starting her own cycle. lol your guess is right, I invested in LOOM.

I know you guys were expecting MMM or something bigger with a bigger cash-out, but omo, I was a student o. I was fascinated by the 600% return on investment, and I started daydreaming of how I will cash-out even bigger, with the 6,000 naira I got from my first loom investment. I will put it back inside the circle and get 36,000 naira, which is basically 4200% return on investment on 1,000 naira, in one week- in my mind I was like I have arrived

So I gave her the 1,000 naira to register under her. To be honest, I don’t know if my head stopped clicking when she said I will get a 600% return on my money because I was so lost in my daydream, I did not realize she said I had to refer people to move up the circle and cash out. Hmmm! That’s how I was on my bed watching Instagram stories of some guys that were spraying money, saying that they have cashed out so many times from this loom, omo I started my second round of daydreaming until all hell broke loose that evening.

I basically realized she referred us to her loom so she can cash out her 1,000 naira, and now it was up to us underneath her to refer people so we sef can cash-out. To be honest, I will not lie, I hate anything that requires me to refer anyone to anything, you can refer me to anything o, I will listen and if you convince me to invest in the stuff I will, but for me to refer someone else, not my thing.

That’s how my hustle to cash out started. I keep a small circle of friends, and I can’t just go and meet my acquaintances or someone from nowhere to invest in something I have not cashed out from, the thing doesn’t sit well with me. I sha sucked my pride and I got three people to register under me: My roommate’s friend, my course mate, and one girl like that I do not know from anywhere. It would have been four, but my wicked brother went to register under his babe at that time, such a sly.

Well, three people was a stepping stone, since I needed like 10, abi 11 persons to cash-out. I felt accomplished and went on with my business for the evening, only for me to come back and hear some ladies shouting my name, that I should go and find people so I can cash out, that they can’t be bringing their people to join my circle and yet they are not the ones profiting.

That’s how these ladies demanded that I should not get my full money, because most of the people under me were their friends. They basically tagged it as “monkey they work bamboo they chop”, lol yeah that’s what one of the ladies literally said.

As a Warri babe now, omo I stated para-ing like “that’s not how the scheme works, it doesn’t matter if they are the ones that brought 50 people to the scheme, those at the top must cash-out their full money, and if dem born ona papa well make dem no give me my full money. Yes o!!! Your girl switched it up.”

And omo, we almost fought there o, those girls were 10 times bigger than me, and I swear if they had slapped me like this I would have cried, but no retreat no surrender, I stood my ground. Hmm! Thank God for one wonderful soul that begged us not to fight so porters won’t come out. That’s how I would have entered trouble because of 6,000 naira. From 100 level to 400 level I had not entered trouble, it’s now in my final year they will expel or suspend me. Devil is a liar.

Fast track to when everything settled down, Nkem finally came to give me my money. And i actually got 4,000 naira out of 7,000 naira, at least it was 300% return on my investment (my 1,000 naira initial investment and 3,000 naira return) — see I told you guys I made a massive return, you think 300% ROI is beans. Well, let me not lie, I actually made 2,000 naira return because I gave back my course mate her 1,000 naira. I felt bad because I reassured her she will get her 7,000 naira cash-you can see why I hate referring people.

I know you guys are wondering, why I did not give the other two ladies that registered under me back their money, well, my roommate’s friend decided to join the scheme of her own free will, I just begged her to register under me, and for the mysterious lady, well I could not find her- well I actually did not make an effort to look for her.

Final words of wisdom:

I know you guys are waiting for the tips on how not to invest in a Ponzi scheme, well it’s very simple — “Do Not Invest In Ponzi Schemes”, it’s quite stressful.