A Lovely Myth

I don’t believe in soul mates.

It’s a beautiful notion, that someone somewhere is tailored perfectly for me, that when I meet her the universe will shift a little and we’ll feel like lock and key, but it’s just not true.

I think that humans are too unique for that. There’s no way two of us could fit perfectly, and if we love someone simply because we believe they’re tailored to fit us, we’re not in love with them at all. Rather, we’re in love with ourselves. It took me a long time to understand that concept, and I hurt a few beautiful, godly women in the process.

But that doesn’t mean I’m left adrift to find a wife on my own.

The 23rd Psalm says that God will always lead us to us peaceful places. I have to believe that He means to do that with our spouses-to-be, whoever they are. But I don’t believe that she’ll be perfect for me, and that’s not what I want anyway. Here’s what I want:

I want to appreciate her for what she is, to love her because she is all beautiful, even the not-beautiful parts of her. I want her to love me the same way. I want to be gracious to her because I need grace, too.

Mostly, I want to sit on the porch with her of evenings and hear her vent about her day. I want catch the way her hair smells on the breeze. I want to hold her hand.

When God created Eve, He said that it wasn’t good for man to be alone. I think that’s the point, then. We need someone to keep our soul company, and I’m ok with that, even if she’s not like me.