I should have it all figured out by now
What do you want to be when you grow up? I can’t remember the particular instance someone asked me that question, but I definitely remember my answer: “I want to be a lawyer.” I played incessant short films in my head, starring myself in exaggerated scenes, defending my clients with bogus words.
I was so sure back then. So sure until my first term in senior secondary school ended. I eventually switched to sciences, and now I wanted to become an engineer. A computer engineer, and oh yeah, this time I was sure again. So sure, until I graduated from university.
“I should have it all figured out, right? I mean, I am not getting any younger.”
Ironically, as I’ve got older, it seems I’ve become less and less sure of what I want to be when I grow up, but then I am growing up.
I should have it all figured out, right? I mean, I am not getting any younger. I’m a little unsteady. Although with my progression in age, I’ve learnt to appreciate love, the smile of another, friends, and family.
What do you want to be when you grow up? Honestly, I wouldn’t want to say I’m so sure this time, because apparently, we all know how that ends by now. I guess I’ll say I want to share all I am and all I have with the one for me.
I want to be loved, but then I am loved already. I want to love; I want to make mistakes, learn from them, take chances, take risks, move forward from every rejection, and live through adventures.
I want to be me when I am all grown up, and nothing else. Just me. I could be anybody else, someone better maybe, but I’d rather just be me.
I may not have it all figured out by then, but I’ll be me.
I want to do what makes my heart beat ever so slowly with the one my heart beats for.
I should have it all figured out by now, right? Truthfully, I don’t know.
