People Change Over Time and You Should Expect Them to Change
Identity is an interesting concept. Most of us associate identity with an official document that states who we are on paper. However, identity goes beyond the piece of paper with your name and birthday. It is something that defines who you are as a person and the person we choose to become later on.
In 2010, I graduated from high school with no particular traits that were unique enough to stand out from my peers. In fact, for the next 4 years I spent an incredible amount of time feeling a profound lack of purpose in my life. It was not a feeling of despair or hopelessness. I was confident that I could accomplish my goals, but the feeling I sensed in those days were more along the lines of wondering if I was accomplishing the right goals. At the root of it all, my lack of self-identity made it difficult for me to determine what goals I should be working towards.
I am certain that many people have felt this way or continue to feel this way. Over time, I have come to the realisation that this feeling is okay. It drove me to seek out experiences that helped me discover who I am. Over time, the experiences I gained in school, travelling, work, and volunteer experiences slowly compounded to a sense of identity that I can associate with. More importantly, I have accepted over time that how I identify myself now, might not be how I choose to identify myself in the future.
We’re not talking about a physical identity. My values, beliefs, and perspectives on life have changed and should continue to change. After-all, change is good. For me, change meant that I am absorbing new information and experiences. It means that I am willing to participate in a debate to learn more about other perspectives before making a decision. In a certain sense, I accepted the responsibility of actively shaping my life. In the process I’ve made many mistakes, learned incredible lessons, and self-reflected continuously to understand which aspects of my current self could be improved.
Accepting that change is possible for yourself and others means you believe you have control over your life. The first step is realising that you have control over your future growth. Second is choosing to act on it. Once you accomplish step one, the second part comes naturally. Accept that you don’t know everything, but understand there is a way to work towards gaining knowledge.
Life hasn’t been a clear cut straight line. I delivered newspapers, worked at McDonalds, warehousing, second hand sporting gear store, a charity, management, and now as a software developer. Do I regret any of my past experiences? Some, but for the most part acknowledge the impact they have had in shaping the person I am today. Through trial and error I decided to take the direction I am on with more certainty than ever.
With that in mind, I want to ask you one thing. How has your past experiences shaped you as a person? I would love to know your story. If you feel you don’t have a story to tell, then work towards making one!
