Privilege as a Tool for Progress

Okay. It’s time. We knew it was coming. I’m sure many of us were hoping that something would change and this day would never come. But it has. And for many people, as racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, ableism and bigotry in general become even more normalized than before, our nation is a terrifying and unsafe environment. However, there are some of us who can carry on normally.

White people, especially men, I hope to persuade you not to do this.

Discussing privilege is often uncomfortable and guilt-inducing, and I get the instinct to avoid it. But the fact is if you are white, male, cisgender, heterosexual, non-disabled, wealthy, or Christian, you are privileged. It doesn’t have to be an albatross; our privileges can be used as tools of progress. In this article, I focus mostly on white and male privilege because those are two physically apparent traits that you benefit from whether or not you’re aware of it or somehow disadvantaged in another way.

So you said something racist and got called out. The first step is DON’T GET DEFENSIVE! This is important. If someone points out that you said something problematic, it’s okay! We have all been raised in a society that tells us to value lighter skin, male opinions, clear gender roles, etc. There are times when this conditioning causes us to slip up and say something like, “It’s so cool when white people have dreads!” (It’s not.) Maybe you just didn’t know that white people can’t even technically have dreadlocks because of our hair texture! Maybe you weren’t aware of the cultural history that would be appropriated even if it were possible! It’s NOT okay if you fail to listen, apologize, and adjust your behavior accordingly.

Similarly, if someone mentions that you are benefiting from some privilege, they are not attacking you or your accomplishments. Let’s think about privilege as being spared of a certain type of oppression; it’s not that you haven’t overcome your own unique obstacles, it’s just that you did it without a certain added layer of active and passive discrimination. This person is opening up to you about an experience of oppression that is unfamiliar to you. Don’t interpret it as an attack. When you respond defensively, you make the conversation about you, and that is counterproductive and harmful.

But I understand. It’s a weird, icky feeling to have a person of color describe their oppression and to feel implicit in their suffering. It’s a weird feeling to hear about acts of violence against marginalized people and see fear in your community while you feel safe. It’s weird to simultaneously feel guilty yet thankful to be privileged. I’m not saying that coming to terms with your privilege will make these feelings go away, but it will feel better knowing that you are doing what you can to use your privilege in a productive way. And I promise it feels better to be “accused” of having privilege than to live without it.

So please! Be open-minded to the ideas and experiences of marginalized people. Listen! We don’t need more white, male, or cisgender perspectives to be shouted over the voices of the oppressed. Don’t hijack the conversation. Your voice is still important, but as a liaison to other white people. We can’t ask the people we are oppressing to explain their oppression to us, so let’s listen when they speak and pass the message along to white people who are unfortunately more willing to listen to people who look like them.