rain

and so once again i stand in the rain
holding two halves of a shivering heart,
trying to pretend they aren’t mine.

i think of the way you tried to hold me in your arms
but i didn’t fit
i am too much to handle,
not enough to love.

my life is one long night on the bathroom floor
(both mine and yours)

i’m left with parts of a poem that don’t sound beautiful
(but i’m trying to put them together anyway)
i’m left with parts of myself that don’t feel beautiful
(i’m trying to put them together too)

i wanted to shout it from the rooftops
but it’s still raining
so i whisper it through my teeth:
why can’t i make anything beautiful
out of the mess you made of me?