Who are you?
Could you describe your appearance and presence in a few sentences? Most people wouldn’t find it difficult to do that, if you take a moment to think about it. You’ve known yourself your whole life, so I bet you can come up with a description of how you look, how you feel and the way you think people see you. But that’s exactly where the problem lies. How you THINK other people see you is not necessarily the same as how people actually experience your presence.
We’ve all had that moment when your colleague or friend asks you if you’re bored, cranky or angry, while you feel perfectly fine and happy. (“Oh really? But you were frowning so much I couldn’t even see your eyes anymore…”) This example shows that we are not always aware of our behaviour and presence.
When giving a speech or presentation it is of great importance to know exactly how the audience experiences your appearance and presence. If you’re not aware of that, you could end up sending out the wrong message.
Time to do a little research!
THREE TIMES YOU
This is you, three times. The first ‘YOU’ is who you are as a person and as a performer. Write this down from your own perspective, without considering how other people might see you or who you’d rather be.
For the second ‘YOU’ you write down how you think other people experience your presence and performance. Are all the descriptions of the first ‘YOU’ the same as this one? Make a list and find out.
The third ‘YOU’ is the one you want to be. Maybe you want to gain a bit more confidence or be less chaotic. You could also choose someone you admire and describe his or her characteristics.
(Examples of descriptions could be: introvert, extravert, loud speaking voice, boring, enthusiastic, organised, chaotic, friendly, bossy, shy, over the top, etcetera.)
WHO THEY THINK YOU ARE
After doing this you have three versions of yourself and now it’s time to find out if your idea of who you are is different from how others see you.
Show the lists of these three ‘YOU-s’ to two people who know you really well, two people who know you, but are not that close to you (like a colleague) and two people you know but don’t see on a daily basis.
Show them the three different lists without telling them which is which and ask them to pick the one that describes you best and ask them why.
WHO YOU WANT TO BECOME
The outcome of this little research can be surprising and sometimes totally different from what you’d expect. Maybe you’ve already reached your goal because most people see you as ‘YOU’ number three. Or maybe you’ll find out you need to work on some of your skills to achieve that goal. Whatever the outcome is, knowing this could be a significant step in becoming the speaker you’ve always wanted to be.
Want to read more or talk about the subject? Check out my articles, connect with me on LinkedIn or check my public speaking trainings with The Pitchshifters.
