Her
Her
Yeah, I talked to her a while back
This time I guess something was different
It feels like my mind is off
Cleaned out my passenger seat
Was gonna take her to the movies today
Guess that was just in my mind
Barely got to talk to her
—
Her dad talked to me instead
He seemed nice but man I wish he knew about her
You see, your daughter hates me dude
At least I think so
—
I thought she liked me
But that is my false perception of reality
Any glimmer of hope quickly fades away
When she talks to you hide away the negativity
—
Asked my momma, can I invite them over
They seemed really keen
Why
What’s wrong with you
—
She got mad angry before at this party
Rejected me in front of all my so called friends
Was going great
Then her friends interrupted us
Confidence fading away
Oh, wait that was a test
—
Now going well again
Why would you talk to somebody like that
Is feeling worthless again on your mind
Listen right now I guess I am doing great
I go from thinking nobody can ever love me
To thinking I can get any girl I want from the flip of a switch
—
I get mad sad
Then talk like I have game
This and that
Guys that talk to me feel sad
Then we crack a few jokes and laugh
—
Trying to hide away the struggle
Hey, what is up with this state
Everybody hates me
And wants to wipe the floor with me
Been feeling alone for a decade
—
Whenever I feel loved
People lie about me behind my back and ruin it
Everybody at church talks about me like I’m trash
At least I think I could feel it
Maybe it is my imagination
—
I probably deserve way worse anyways
I deserve to be alone
I deserve to be hated
I know my worth and it is not great
—
Sometimes you are forced to humble yourself
I guess that is what happened with me
Forget dating and relationships for now
Who cares
—
When was the last time I was happy
Everybody is having high expectations
And you just want to block out the noise
Think about math
Think about nature and all these patterns
Sometimes missing puzzles
—
Though I never considered myself a good mathematician
But mathematics sometimes feels like you are talking to God
It’s amazing
—
Her
Yeah, she makes art and it's amazing
But there are tons of people like that
I’m not that easy to be with
Nobody wants a guy anxious and nervous all the time
That’s just the reality
I just want to block out everybody sometimes and sit alone
Sometimes I get mad at the idea of anybody loving me
And sometimes I want to feel loved
—
I know God loves me though
My parents do too
Maybe
They are just disappointed
I’m amazing at disappointing them
That only seems like what I do best
I try working hard
80+ hours a week sometimes
Some of these weeks feel like 125 hour work weeks
The rest is church and sleep
—
Feels like I rarely have a social life
And when I do
All it causes is heartache and pain
Her
Yeah, I’m sorry you seem so cool
But yeah, your daughter, she wants nothing to do with me
I’m like a dime a dozen probably to her
—
And that is okay
Maybe I want it that way
After all pain is temporary
If I want to go out fantastically
Create positive change
Do all these things
Then you better get used to being more unloved
—
Anyways sir
I think I’m dead to her
But thanks for the laughs
Have a nice day sir
