What I Miss
If you asked me, “what do you miss about home?” back in 2011 during my first year of study abroad in China, I would’ve said “absolutely nothing.” Six years later, having lived and worked in Singapore for almost 2 years, I’ve finally come up with a short list of things outside of family and friends — but they’re probably not what you’d expect:
- Seasons. Singapore is hot and humid all-year round. You might think that doesn’t sound so bad but it makes it inconvenient to do simple things, like going for a walk or cracking open the window to get fresh air… because there is no fresh air. If you’re not in the sweltering heat, you’re indoors breathing air conditioning. If I could pin down the one feeling I miss the most, it’s stepping outside on a cool night in October and breathing in that crisp, almost smokey air. Sigh, I miss that a lot.
- American Sports. Let me start by saying for a sports fan, I don’t spend a lot of time watching sports. When I was in the US I’d watch games 50% less than the average 26 year old American male. But I loved the shared experience of sports and its role bringing people together. It was something to look forward to, an excuse to meet up with your buddies and bond over something that made you feel in awe, like an amazing play or a comeback win against crazy odds — or if you’re a Jets or Knicks fan like me, the agony of yet another defeat. Don’t get me wrong, sports are also a thing here — English Premier League football is everywhere — but it just doesn’t feel like there are any stakes when no one is from cities that the teams represent.
Also check out: An American Coach in London (YouTube) — comedy short feat. Jason Sudekis who plays an NFL coach taking over an English football team. - Amazon Prime. I used to check my favorite product review site The Wirecutter every week looking for the best stuff in every consumer product category fathomable — from point-and-shoot cameras to laundry detergent — and buy them with free 2-day shipping on Amazon. I bought so much my house had a cardboard problem. Now I have to wait once or twice a year and buy everything at once — which on second thought doesn’t seem so bad. It feels a little bit like my own personal Christmas.
- Honorable mention: breakfast sandwiches, reasonably priced alcohol, SportsCenter, Mexican food, HBO Sundays, and denim jackets.
The reason for all this is that I’ve been trying to reflect on the things I appreciate about home with a renewed perspective for my upcoming 2-week trip back to New York in September. I’ll be working from The Trade Desk’s NY office and visiting family for most of it, but I’d love to meet for a coffee with anyone on this list that’s around.
Thank you to everyone who responded to my Introduction email with your feedback and support. Keep it coming!
SL
P.S. — If it sounds like I’m complaining too much, you should see the list of things I don’t miss.
“Look closely at the present you are constructing. It should look like the future you dream of.” — Alice Walker
Book recommendation: A Cook’s Tour by Anthony Bourdain
There are very few influences in my life that I can point to and say, “this was the turning point, the vital piece that changed everything.” Discovering Anthony Bourdain’s TV show No Reservations is one of them, and this book is the embodiment of everything that inspired me as a teenager to build a life where I could travel and see the world. The book is made up of individual essays on different locations, including Portugal, Morocco, France, Tokyo, and Vietnam. At its core this book, like all Bourdain’s work, is about understanding people and culture through food, but you don’t need to be a foodie, or even a frequent traveler to enjoy it. I’d recommend it to anyone who sees travel as an adventure. Link to my original review here.
What I’m reading now: Captain Class — The Hidden Force that Creates the World’s Greatest Teams by Sam Walker
This book is a hybrid of sports statistics, sports history, behavioral psychology, and leadership. It’s built under the premise that if you use math and data to isolate the most freakishly dominant sports dynasties in history, you could find the key to what makes them great. (The authors requirements for what makes a team great pared thousands of teams down to 16 — his methodology and rationale makes up the first 2 chapters.) The crucial ingredient? Each of the “greatest teams ever” had a player-captain that started and retired at the same time of their teams’ dynasty. Some of these captains include Tim Duncan (San Antonio Spurs), Carles Puyol (FC Barcelona), Buck Shelford (New Zealand All Blacks), and NOT the usual suspects like Michael Jordan (Chicago Bulls) and Derek Jeter (New York Yankees). This book is about what made them great leaders, and why it’s not what you would typically expect.
5ish Links
The New Authority in Great Books to Read: Who You Follow on Instagram
“An interview on NPR’s ‘Fresh Air’ radio program reaches about a million listeners. Emma Watson’s pictures, for example, go out to 38 million Instagram followers.”
This article made me think a lot about how people choose the media they let into their life — especially books, which can be a costly decision both in terms of time and money, but mostly the former. As for myself, I have a small but reliable list of sources where I get my reading recommendations: author Ryan Holiday’s monthly reading newsletter, the TED Radio Hour podcast, Bill Gates’s blog, and Goodreads are just a few. Where do you get your book recommendations? Who and what inspires you to read?
To Stay Married, Embrace Change
“Sometimes people feel betrayed by this change. They fell in love with one person, and when that person doesn’t seem familiar anymore, they decide he or she violated the marriage contract. I have begun to wonder if perhaps the problem isn’t change itself but our susceptibility to what has been called the ‘end of history’ illusion…”
I don’t know much about long-term relationships, but based on what I’ve seen, this sounds 100% spot-on… and also scary as hell. How do you bet your life on someone who might be a different person in 5, 10, 20 years? On the flip side, I don’t intend on staying the same person for more than six months, so how could I expect that kind of confidence from anyone else?
Also check out: Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert (Book, TED)
How to Run an Effective Meeting
“The three rules of running a meeting: Set an agenda, start/end on time, and end with an action plan.”
I care less for the other tips in this piece like “Give everyone a role”, but I really like the last one — make meetings essential. My feeling has been that if you find your attendees dragging their feet, there are two possibilities: you have too many non-essential people included, or the meeting itself is non-essential. Either way, it’s time to go back to the drawing board and make adjustments.
“I would watch the fuck out of this movie.” (pic via Twitter)


